This post is both an exercise in describing where we're at right now, as well as a checklist of progress we've made (simply for yours truly) in preparation for our move.
Thus, without further ado.....where we're at!
- We're down to two options: staying in Madison (and B reapplying to law school for Fall 2011) and moving to Naples, FL and B enrolling in a law school there (this one is dependent on his admission into the entering class off their waiting list). It is a relief to be so close to knowing our final outcome, but with being so close comes, at least for me, a real bout of impatience. I went to the mailbox today, just hoping that we would receive some type of closure from the school in Naples, and when there wasn't a scrap of mail there, all I could do was blurt out a frustrated, "come ON!" I even went back to the mailbox a second time, just to see if perhaps I'd missed the mailman the first time. I just have to keep reminding myself, Lord, it is Your will we seek, and not our own. And then I throw in a flustered "but in the meantime, bless me with patience!"
- We're packing - A LOT. I have started the process and it hasn't been terribly overwhelming just yet. The plan at the moment, if we haven't heard from the school in Naples by July 31st, is to move our stuff into storage until A) we find a suitable apartment in Madison or B) we move to Naples! I'm finding just two parts of this process a bit overwhelming: the sheer amount of boxes (we will probably have thirty to forty by the time we're done packing) is starting to take over our living space, and I am at a loss with what to do about our laundry. Part of me just wants to let it accumulate and deal with it later, and another part of me wants to crank out five or six loads right now and be ahead as we look to do our serious moving next week. I am sure the latter will win - it's just a matter of biting the bullet and getting it done. Unfortunately, I am very unmotivated to walk all the way around our building to our laundry facilities while it is 85-90 degrees and humid in the middle of the day. I fear I'll just need to get over it and do it, because I don't think the heat is breaking anytime soon.
- We're trying - however feebly - to trust our loving Father with whatever plan He might have for us. I am often the one struggling with this, but I have found a certain peace about things in the past few days. It hasn't been a complete peace, that's for sure, but it's a start. I just keep telling myself that this will all get done - somehow, someway, this will all get accomplished. We will move, wherever that might be, and it will happen when God intends. In the meantime, as we wait on God's will, I just plug along and do what I need to do in order to get this move started. For now, that's just a lot of packing. :-)
As I left a restaurant where I picked up some dinner for B tonight, I was behind a car that was stopped at a light and was going to go straight through the intersection. I was in a hurry to get home (one of my weaknesses and struggles lately has been with showing charity to my fellow drivers), and tried my darnedest to wiggle my way between the van and the curb to sneak around her to turn right, but to no avail. As I waited, impatiently, for the light to turn, I saw that the van had the simplest of bumper stickers on the back: a small image of the Divine Mercy, and Jesus, I trust in You. How often I need that reminder!
a presto
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
bella notte
We had a beautiful night! We went to visit with some friends and attend their 3-year-old daughter's ballet "recital" - by recital, I mean, four of the most adorable little girls dancing around to three songs. It was beautiful, and hilarious, and so cute I could almost hardly stand it!
And then we went to dinner, to a handpicked restaurant by the ballerina herself, and proceeded to dine with them and their three children, all under the age of five (and one more on the way, any day now)! It was hilarious - complete with screaming, laughing, tickling, you name it. It was wonderful. At one point I took the littlest out to the restaurant yard to allow her mom to finish her ice cream cone, and we walked around and smelled the flowers in the landscaping. It was wonderful. :-)
We prayed the rosary on the way home (!), and stopped at Home Depot for more packing boxes, and saw another pair of friends there and saw their new baby for the first time. I packed more of our things (I'm feeling wildly productive these days), and now, a few hours later, Apollo 13 is winding down on our television set and my wildly adorable husband is snoozing next to me on the couch.
These simple things in life bring me so much joy!
And then we went to dinner, to a handpicked restaurant by the ballerina herself, and proceeded to dine with them and their three children, all under the age of five (and one more on the way, any day now)! It was hilarious - complete with screaming, laughing, tickling, you name it. It was wonderful. At one point I took the littlest out to the restaurant yard to allow her mom to finish her ice cream cone, and we walked around and smelled the flowers in the landscaping. It was wonderful. :-)
We prayed the rosary on the way home (!), and stopped at Home Depot for more packing boxes, and saw another pair of friends there and saw their new baby for the first time. I packed more of our things (I'm feeling wildly productive these days), and now, a few hours later, Apollo 13 is winding down on our television set and my wildly adorable husband is snoozing next to me on the couch.
These simple things in life bring me so much joy!
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
signs it's time to move.....
You hear and discover that a mouse has taken up residence behind your fridge - and it's the FOURTH mouse to decide to move into your lovely abode. In all honesty, I'm not afraid of mice, and it's not that I don't like mice - I would just rather not live with them, that's all.
Needless to say, trap is set - no sign of the intruder just yet. Hoping we'll get him tonight.
T-minus 18 days until the lease is up! Let's get out of here!
Needless to say, trap is set - no sign of the intruder just yet. Hoping we'll get him tonight.
T-minus 18 days until the lease is up! Let's get out of here!
Thursday, July 8, 2010
the waiting
It's 11:00 at night, I should be in bed, but I can't sleep. Thus, currently, I'm listening to "Wavin' Flag" by K'naan (a World Cup song), reminiscing about the '06 World Cup while I was in Italy, and blogging random thoughts. B and I both snoozed a little bit tonight (B was tired, and I was nursing a headache), and while my husband has been blessed with the ability to sleep wherever and whenever, I, on the other hand, have not been endowed with this gift. This is my third late night this week due to later naps during the day - they're never terribly long (maybe half an hour at most), but they're enough to keep me wound up during the time when I should be winding down each day.
Perhaps part of it, also, is the spinning in my head about possible scenarios for us in these next few weeks. I lay in bed and my mind starts to whirl with the uncertainty we face once our current lease expires on the 31st. B is waiting to hear still from three law schools, one in Minnesota, one in Wisconsin, and one (waiting list) in Florida.
Here, let's do the math:
Three distinct schools + three different cities + three weeks until we're out of this apartment = BIG TIME ANXIETY FOR YOURS TRULY.
My insides seem literally to twist and turn as I'm poring over all the different situations in which we could find ourselves in just 21 days. And don't even get me started on how my brain processes all of this - most of the time it's reeling, and just trying to keep up with the barrage of thoughts I throw at it at any given moment.
A sampling of the thoughts that spin through my head, usually at least once a day:
Where will we be on August 1st?
Where will our belongings be on August 1st?
With B working, how are we even going to be able to move? How are we going to get our things out of this apartment in the first place?
What will our job situation look like in a month?
What about health insurance?
What about just staying afloat financially during the transition of moving?
Will we be able to attend a family reunion in North Carolina next month?
Needless to say, this is all just gut-wrenching, and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that I don't handle any of this well. I crashed emotionally earlier this week - I think I had had it up to here for the afternoon, just thinking about the unknown and stewing over the vagueness of our next move in life. I came home and cried. (I'm not a terribly emotional person usually, so to have had two emotional episodes in one week is a big deal for me.) "It's just too much for me," I whined to B. "I'm sick of this, I just need to know what's next. There's so much planning involved, but I need to know where we're going to be in order to make those plans."
"You think you need to know," B assured me. "But it's not God's time yet. You want to know now, but it's not God's time to reveal that yet."
"Well, it needs to be His time," I retorted. "I need to know."
Yet here we are, a day later, and we still don't know - I still don't know that which I believe so earnestly that I need to know. I anticipate the mail every day - almost counting down the minutes to when the postman will arrive, praying that he has something there that will define the course of our lives for the next year. Sometimes, forgive me, I don't even care if he brings with him three rejection letters - three denials from the three schools, just anything to bring more direction to the next three weeks. It's so ridiculous, we're off to Kansas City for the weekend, and it hurts to know that I'm going to miss getting the mail for two whole days. And deep down I know that we will know at the right time - God will reveal this to us when He sees fit. It's just the waiting around part, as the days tick down, that is seemingly eating away at me.
What little faith I have!
Perhaps part of it, also, is the spinning in my head about possible scenarios for us in these next few weeks. I lay in bed and my mind starts to whirl with the uncertainty we face once our current lease expires on the 31st. B is waiting to hear still from three law schools, one in Minnesota, one in Wisconsin, and one (waiting list) in Florida.
Here, let's do the math:
Three distinct schools + three different cities + three weeks until we're out of this apartment = BIG TIME ANXIETY FOR YOURS TRULY.
My insides seem literally to twist and turn as I'm poring over all the different situations in which we could find ourselves in just 21 days. And don't even get me started on how my brain processes all of this - most of the time it's reeling, and just trying to keep up with the barrage of thoughts I throw at it at any given moment.
A sampling of the thoughts that spin through my head, usually at least once a day:
Where will we be on August 1st?
Where will our belongings be on August 1st?
With B working, how are we even going to be able to move? How are we going to get our things out of this apartment in the first place?
What will our job situation look like in a month?
What about health insurance?
What about just staying afloat financially during the transition of moving?
Will we be able to attend a family reunion in North Carolina next month?
Needless to say, this is all just gut-wrenching, and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that I don't handle any of this well. I crashed emotionally earlier this week - I think I had had it up to here for the afternoon, just thinking about the unknown and stewing over the vagueness of our next move in life. I came home and cried. (I'm not a terribly emotional person usually, so to have had two emotional episodes in one week is a big deal for me.) "It's just too much for me," I whined to B. "I'm sick of this, I just need to know what's next. There's so much planning involved, but I need to know where we're going to be in order to make those plans."
"You think you need to know," B assured me. "But it's not God's time yet. You want to know now, but it's not God's time to reveal that yet."
"Well, it needs to be His time," I retorted. "I need to know."
Yet here we are, a day later, and we still don't know - I still don't know that which I believe so earnestly that I need to know. I anticipate the mail every day - almost counting down the minutes to when the postman will arrive, praying that he has something there that will define the course of our lives for the next year. Sometimes, forgive me, I don't even care if he brings with him three rejection letters - three denials from the three schools, just anything to bring more direction to the next three weeks. It's so ridiculous, we're off to Kansas City for the weekend, and it hurts to know that I'm going to miss getting the mail for two whole days. And deep down I know that we will know at the right time - God will reveal this to us when He sees fit. It's just the waiting around part, as the days tick down, that is seemingly eating away at me.
What little faith I have!
Thursday, July 1, 2010
not His Will
trFor the past two and a half months, we've played a waiting game with the admissions committee at B's top choice of law school. We've flirted with the possibilities of enrolling, moving, finding a new apartment, all of those things that come with transitions and new changes. In my head danced around ideas and fantasies of what these next years at this law school would be like - living in a small apartment off-campus, B going to school, I working to support us, trying to stay thrifty in the one-income household but probably splurging for some favorite things here and there. Maybe, just maybe, God would also bless us with our first child during B's tenure at this law school. The possibilities, the dreams, the hopes - they were endless. And I, deep in my heart of hearts, believed that we'd be getting a big, fat, acceptance letter sometime this summer, and all those dreams would become our reality.
Yesterday afternoon, as casually as we had received the e-mail about B's spot on the wait list, we received word that there was no way the admissions committee could offer him a spot in the class of 2013. The dean of admissions rambled off all the generalizing phrases - we had a lot of qualified applicants, and it hurts us to have to turn you away, all of the same, redundant words that really just mean: we can't let you in. It was the simplest of messages - and I peered over B's shoulder as he opened the e-mail, and my heart just sank, and the tears flowed like rain.
And for the next half hour I acted like a stubborn, snotty child - angry at the committee, hurt by their triteness in the e-mail, despondent that what had seemed so real had been snatched away in a matter of seconds, and so very devastated for B. We had just been talking on the way to get the car an oil change that B had felt pretty good about his chances, just an hour or so earlier. We had legions of people praying for us, praying that God's Will would be this school. We were so ready to move on with our lives, to get off this pause button of applications and forge onward, toward careers and grownup things. How had it gone so very different, in just a matter of minutes? What did this now mean for his chances at the four schools from which we still await a response? Would we be subject to additional rejections? My head started spinning with all of these questions, and I grew more frustrated. Eventually, my poor husband, the one who had actually suffered this rejection, had to comfort me, when it was really I who should have been doing that for him in the first place.
And then we talked it out. Where do we go from here? What happens if B doesn't get in this year? And most importantly - what is God really asking of us in this? That is a question that I don't often like to ask. There were times yesterday where I was upset with God, frustrated at His Will, so painfully before us. And in those painful moments, my conscience hit me like a ton of bricks....
God will work in this situation, to bring about His glory.
No matter how painful, how frustrating, how maddening all of this is, God will use this to glorify Himself.
My only prayer is that I can remember this as we wait for the next month - hoping, wondering, dreaming about what the next academic year will bring us.
Yesterday afternoon, as casually as we had received the e-mail about B's spot on the wait list, we received word that there was no way the admissions committee could offer him a spot in the class of 2013. The dean of admissions rambled off all the generalizing phrases - we had a lot of qualified applicants, and it hurts us to have to turn you away, all of the same, redundant words that really just mean: we can't let you in. It was the simplest of messages - and I peered over B's shoulder as he opened the e-mail, and my heart just sank, and the tears flowed like rain.
And for the next half hour I acted like a stubborn, snotty child - angry at the committee, hurt by their triteness in the e-mail, despondent that what had seemed so real had been snatched away in a matter of seconds, and so very devastated for B. We had just been talking on the way to get the car an oil change that B had felt pretty good about his chances, just an hour or so earlier. We had legions of people praying for us, praying that God's Will would be this school. We were so ready to move on with our lives, to get off this pause button of applications and forge onward, toward careers and grownup things. How had it gone so very different, in just a matter of minutes? What did this now mean for his chances at the four schools from which we still await a response? Would we be subject to additional rejections? My head started spinning with all of these questions, and I grew more frustrated. Eventually, my poor husband, the one who had actually suffered this rejection, had to comfort me, when it was really I who should have been doing that for him in the first place.
And then we talked it out. Where do we go from here? What happens if B doesn't get in this year? And most importantly - what is God really asking of us in this? That is a question that I don't often like to ask. There were times yesterday where I was upset with God, frustrated at His Will, so painfully before us. And in those painful moments, my conscience hit me like a ton of bricks....
God will work in this situation, to bring about His glory.
No matter how painful, how frustrating, how maddening all of this is, God will use this to glorify Himself.
My only prayer is that I can remember this as we wait for the next month - hoping, wondering, dreaming about what the next academic year will bring us.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
poh, poh, poh, poh, poh, poh - pooooooh
I just had to make that the title of this post - it's my feeble attempt at phonetically spelling out one of the many victory chants of the Italian tifosi - soccer fans - that I heard during the World Cup mania of 2006, when I was a student in that sleepy mountain town a couple hours north of bellissima Roma, the year that the Italian national team - the beloved Azzurri - won the Mondiale against the hated French. It's supposed to be the opening bass line of the song "Seven Nation Army" by the White Stripes - to this day, when I hear that melody, I'm transported to a piazza in Perugia, where I heard that riff chanted over and over again, as the Italians waved the tricolore and lit smokebombs and celebrated that marvelous run by their national team.
All of the frenzy of the World Cup - which begins tomorrow! - has had me reminiscing on that amazing summer, the most influential summer that I've ever lived (with the exception of last summer, when we were married). I learned so much about my feeble self that summer - about my strongest desires, about my dignity as a woman, about the ability to love. That summer that the Azzurri won the World Cup was completely life-changing for me - and it prepared my heart for the man I would begin to date just a year later, and, eventually, marry. Funny how something that seems so innocuous - a five-week study-abroad opportunity in Italy - would become so momentous for the course of my life. I remain so grateful for the chance to travel there, to experience Italy in all her splendor, and for the experiences I had in that country, that would help to form me into the woman (and wife!) that I am today.
And as for the Mondiale of 2010? World Cup fever has struck our house, and is often a point of conversation for us. I learned several months ago that I married a man very dedicated to watching every waking moment of the tournament, a pastime that dates back ten, fourteen years. While the Americans are on our short list, we're also backing our favorite European teams (that are, thankfully, not in the same group as the United States!). My dear husband is rooting for Espana, the favorite, and his favorite team for many years (he claims it's a pick to honor his Spanish heritage).
As for me? I will don my Francesco Totti #10 jersey from the most recent Mondiale with pride, and cheer for "my" boys, my beloved Azzurri, a squad so integral, and so popular, in that summer of 2006. As the defending champions, I know their chances of a repeat performance are slim, yet, it will be so wonderful to watch them once more, and to be transported back to that beautiful summer - the summer I learned to love.
forza Azzurri!! :-)
All of the frenzy of the World Cup - which begins tomorrow! - has had me reminiscing on that amazing summer, the most influential summer that I've ever lived (with the exception of last summer, when we were married). I learned so much about my feeble self that summer - about my strongest desires, about my dignity as a woman, about the ability to love. That summer that the Azzurri won the World Cup was completely life-changing for me - and it prepared my heart for the man I would begin to date just a year later, and, eventually, marry. Funny how something that seems so innocuous - a five-week study-abroad opportunity in Italy - would become so momentous for the course of my life. I remain so grateful for the chance to travel there, to experience Italy in all her splendor, and for the experiences I had in that country, that would help to form me into the woman (and wife!) that I am today.
And as for the Mondiale of 2010? World Cup fever has struck our house, and is often a point of conversation for us. I learned several months ago that I married a man very dedicated to watching every waking moment of the tournament, a pastime that dates back ten, fourteen years. While the Americans are on our short list, we're also backing our favorite European teams (that are, thankfully, not in the same group as the United States!). My dear husband is rooting for Espana, the favorite, and his favorite team for many years (he claims it's a pick to honor his Spanish heritage).
As for me? I will don my Francesco Totti #10 jersey from the most recent Mondiale with pride, and cheer for "my" boys, my beloved Azzurri, a squad so integral, and so popular, in that summer of 2006. As the defending champions, I know their chances of a repeat performance are slim, yet, it will be so wonderful to watch them once more, and to be transported back to that beautiful summer - the summer I learned to love.
forza Azzurri!! :-)
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
six-one-twenty-ten
Holy cow! It's June already! I can hardly believe that summer is here, temperatures are hot (and sometimes oppressively humid), and we (amazingly) only have two more months in our tiny little apartment until our lease runs out. Hopefully, God willing, so much will be resolved in these sixty days......God willing, an acceptance letter to a law school, a new place to live, a new job, etc.....I can hardly stand it, it's exciting! :)
There's so much going on, so much to write about, yet I don't know where to start. Hopefully my posts in June won't be as nonexistent as they were in May. I'd start today, but there's just so much whizzing through my mind that I don't know where to begin!
a presto.
There's so much going on, so much to write about, yet I don't know where to start. Hopefully my posts in June won't be as nonexistent as they were in May. I'd start today, but there's just so much whizzing through my mind that I don't know where to begin!
a presto.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Thursday, April 22, 2010
ten quick things! i am....
1. stalling. I have a pile (I kid you not, it is a pile) of dirty dishes waiting for me on the counter just a few feet away, and I can't find it in me to start to scrub them. I'm pretty sure this will be one of those major stumbling blocks in living out my vocation - the delay and putting off of household chores, instead of rising above my laziness and doing the dishes out of love for our marriage. It is a weakness that I definitely have yet to master! Is there a patron saint of lazy wives? Dishes? Household chores? :)
2. treating our three little tetras for ick. We took the plunge and bought three little neon tetras last Friday at the store. After a rough weekend (each of them looked positively terrified until about Monday), we realized yesterday that they probably have ick. We were a little bummed about the diagnosis - the parasite of the disease only affects fish that have been under stress for some reason or have an aquarium that isn't fit for fish. We're hoping that they have ick because of the former, not the latter! We have tried really hard in this last week to do all the right things for the fish - taking water tests, adding extra (good) bacteria to the tank, lowering the pH, etc. We treated the little guys (named Parker, Ginobili, and Duncan, the Spurs - don't ask) with aquarium salt and an ick medication this afternoon, and we'll know more about their fate tomorrow. We already think they look better, but that might be wishful thinking on our part. Here's hoping it's not, and they really are on the rebound!
3. celebrating 24 years of life tomorrow, the Feast of St. George. I remain so very grateful to God for these beautiful years of my life, and the gift of knowing Him (and the gift of struggling to serve Him and give glory to His name every day of this life!). It's my prayer that God, in His infinite mercy, might grant me 24, if not 48, more years! B and I will celebrate in the morning tomorrow - I don't quite know what he has planned, but I've heard a trip for breakfast to my favorite diner might be happening! (I'm secretly hoping it also includes fresh flowers, but we'll see!) We'll spend the weekend with friends and family - it will be a beautiful birthday weekend, I'm sure!
4. babysitting for a new family these days. While B and I are "in pause" - not really sure of where we'll be, come August - it's been hard to commit to looking for and applying to jobs in this area. With no assurance that we'll be here beyond summer, it's been a challenge for me to muster up the effort to apply even to a temporary position in the city. In the meantime, while I remain employed on a part-time basis, I'm also picking up a few babysitting jobs here and there. I met the newest family of three little girls on Monday - as I already blogged about this week. I'll go back next Monday and be with them again, and I'm already looking forward to it!
5. continuing, in my human weakness, to attempt perseverance, especially in my prayer life. Who knew that a life-changing, life-transforming vocation would add such difficultly to a spiritual life that was already semi-routine and constant? The past nine months have been a deep struggle spiritually for B and me. Our new schedules, compounded with the transformation of living together, has been taxing on our spiritual lives. It has been terribly humbling for us, to realize our frailty and weakness before our good and loving God. At times, it has also been rather painful for the both of us, to realize just how much we appreciated the routine of our spiritual lives when we were working as interns for the Catholic campus center downtown. Life was definitely simpler then - within walking distance to work and just a 30 second jaunt down the stairs to the chapel, where Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament was waiting. It's a relief to know that we aren't the only married couple with challenges like this - but my pride tells me that I should be better than this. It's only after I surrender that pride and boastfulness to God that He can lift me up. It's been a long time coming (and we're not there yet), but I rejoice that we'll have our entire lives to work on our vocation - and the spiritual life within that vocation. And all my God asks of me is that I ask His forgiveness, pick up the pieces, and start anew.
6. officially going to Denver in just under a month! My dear brother-in-law is graduating from college and B and I are going to be there with him and some more of the family during the commencement weekend. On Commencement Sunday, I am my cousin's sponsor for his confirmation, so I am only able to be there Thursday through Saturday. Despite the brevity of my trip (B will return on Monday afternoon), I am thrilled to be able to see them so soon.
7. rejoicing in another upcoming wedding - this time, in our family! We learned earlier in the week that B's sister is engaged! She and her boyfriend have been in Spain for the past ten or so days, and he asked her to marry him last weekend in Seville. We are so very happy for them, and are definitely looking forward to at least one more wedding within the year. Their hope is to be married in Puerto Rico, where the majority of B's extended family is. A family wedding + Puerto Rico? Count me in! (I was always in, but the possibility of PR is definitely icing on the cake!) :) We couldn't be more thrilled for them.
8. meeting an 8-week-old puppy tomorrow night. B, unfortunately, has to work tomorrow evening, on my birthday, which isn't a big deal to me - he's had to work every Friday evening of this spring semester, so it's nothing new. I was perfectly happy to spend my birthday night at home (after all, there is plenty of laundry to catch up on), but when my aunt heard this earlier in the week, she invited me to her home to spend the evening there. They are bringing home their new puppy tomorrow afternoon - I might be the first in the extended family to meet him! I was a little hesitant about going over - I didn't want to take away from this special moment for their family - but my aunt insisted that it would be just fine. I am very much looking forward to it, and even more grateful to have someplace to go tomorrow night on my birthday!
9. making "country chicken chowder" for dinner this evening. The slow cooker is doing the heavy lifting for me. The more I use it, the more I love the slow cooker. I am a novice in the kitchen, so having an appliance that will cook a meal all by itself is a blessing! All I had to do tonight was brown the chicken, and put the broth, veggies, and chicken in the slow cooker. Now I'm leaving it alone for about another two and a half hours or so - it'll be a late dinner, but it's Thursday night, and dinner is always late these evenings, because B's at class late. I just hope it tastes as good as it smells!
10. going to do the dishes! I think my biggest worry is that it's always going to take over an hour to complete. The dishes that accrue always look very daunting and insurmountable. But usually, it never takes more than twenty minutes! (And here's hoping they only take that long tonight, too!)
a presto!
2. treating our three little tetras for ick. We took the plunge and bought three little neon tetras last Friday at the store. After a rough weekend (each of them looked positively terrified until about Monday), we realized yesterday that they probably have ick. We were a little bummed about the diagnosis - the parasite of the disease only affects fish that have been under stress for some reason or have an aquarium that isn't fit for fish. We're hoping that they have ick because of the former, not the latter! We have tried really hard in this last week to do all the right things for the fish - taking water tests, adding extra (good) bacteria to the tank, lowering the pH, etc. We treated the little guys (named Parker, Ginobili, and Duncan, the Spurs - don't ask) with aquarium salt and an ick medication this afternoon, and we'll know more about their fate tomorrow. We already think they look better, but that might be wishful thinking on our part. Here's hoping it's not, and they really are on the rebound!
3. celebrating 24 years of life tomorrow, the Feast of St. George. I remain so very grateful to God for these beautiful years of my life, and the gift of knowing Him (and the gift of struggling to serve Him and give glory to His name every day of this life!). It's my prayer that God, in His infinite mercy, might grant me 24, if not 48, more years! B and I will celebrate in the morning tomorrow - I don't quite know what he has planned, but I've heard a trip for breakfast to my favorite diner might be happening! (I'm secretly hoping it also includes fresh flowers, but we'll see!) We'll spend the weekend with friends and family - it will be a beautiful birthday weekend, I'm sure!
4. babysitting for a new family these days. While B and I are "in pause" - not really sure of where we'll be, come August - it's been hard to commit to looking for and applying to jobs in this area. With no assurance that we'll be here beyond summer, it's been a challenge for me to muster up the effort to apply even to a temporary position in the city. In the meantime, while I remain employed on a part-time basis, I'm also picking up a few babysitting jobs here and there. I met the newest family of three little girls on Monday - as I already blogged about this week. I'll go back next Monday and be with them again, and I'm already looking forward to it!
5. continuing, in my human weakness, to attempt perseverance, especially in my prayer life. Who knew that a life-changing, life-transforming vocation would add such difficultly to a spiritual life that was already semi-routine and constant? The past nine months have been a deep struggle spiritually for B and me. Our new schedules, compounded with the transformation of living together, has been taxing on our spiritual lives. It has been terribly humbling for us, to realize our frailty and weakness before our good and loving God. At times, it has also been rather painful for the both of us, to realize just how much we appreciated the routine of our spiritual lives when we were working as interns for the Catholic campus center downtown. Life was definitely simpler then - within walking distance to work and just a 30 second jaunt down the stairs to the chapel, where Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament was waiting. It's a relief to know that we aren't the only married couple with challenges like this - but my pride tells me that I should be better than this. It's only after I surrender that pride and boastfulness to God that He can lift me up. It's been a long time coming (and we're not there yet), but I rejoice that we'll have our entire lives to work on our vocation - and the spiritual life within that vocation. And all my God asks of me is that I ask His forgiveness, pick up the pieces, and start anew.
6. officially going to Denver in just under a month! My dear brother-in-law is graduating from college and B and I are going to be there with him and some more of the family during the commencement weekend. On Commencement Sunday, I am my cousin's sponsor for his confirmation, so I am only able to be there Thursday through Saturday. Despite the brevity of my trip (B will return on Monday afternoon), I am thrilled to be able to see them so soon.
7. rejoicing in another upcoming wedding - this time, in our family! We learned earlier in the week that B's sister is engaged! She and her boyfriend have been in Spain for the past ten or so days, and he asked her to marry him last weekend in Seville. We are so very happy for them, and are definitely looking forward to at least one more wedding within the year. Their hope is to be married in Puerto Rico, where the majority of B's extended family is. A family wedding + Puerto Rico? Count me in! (I was always in, but the possibility of PR is definitely icing on the cake!) :) We couldn't be more thrilled for them.
8. meeting an 8-week-old puppy tomorrow night. B, unfortunately, has to work tomorrow evening, on my birthday, which isn't a big deal to me - he's had to work every Friday evening of this spring semester, so it's nothing new. I was perfectly happy to spend my birthday night at home (after all, there is plenty of laundry to catch up on), but when my aunt heard this earlier in the week, she invited me to her home to spend the evening there. They are bringing home their new puppy tomorrow afternoon - I might be the first in the extended family to meet him! I was a little hesitant about going over - I didn't want to take away from this special moment for their family - but my aunt insisted that it would be just fine. I am very much looking forward to it, and even more grateful to have someplace to go tomorrow night on my birthday!
9. making "country chicken chowder" for dinner this evening. The slow cooker is doing the heavy lifting for me. The more I use it, the more I love the slow cooker. I am a novice in the kitchen, so having an appliance that will cook a meal all by itself is a blessing! All I had to do tonight was brown the chicken, and put the broth, veggies, and chicken in the slow cooker. Now I'm leaving it alone for about another two and a half hours or so - it'll be a late dinner, but it's Thursday night, and dinner is always late these evenings, because B's at class late. I just hope it tastes as good as it smells!
10. going to do the dishes! I think my biggest worry is that it's always going to take over an hour to complete. The dishes that accrue always look very daunting and insurmountable. But usually, it never takes more than twenty minutes! (And here's hoping they only take that long tonight, too!)
a presto!
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
wedding wednesday
We had these lofty goals of starting our first dance slow, and then breaking into a salsa dance we'd practiced beforehand. Well, finding a song that begins slow and then picks up the tempo, and can be danced to salsa, is a very daunting task! We were three days from the wedding when we realized it just wasn't going to happen. Luckily, we had a favorite song on standby - Just the way you are, by Billy Joel, one of our favorite artists.
And as I think back to our first dance, and dancing to Billy Joel's classic, I really wouldn't have had it any other way.
As always, the picture's from Narella Studio, www.narella-studio.com
Monday, April 19, 2010
recent happenings at our casa, picture-style
Monday, 4/12 - B came out of work to find this not-so-pretty, not-so-nice dent in our car door. After speculating that perhaps someone came out rather forcefully of their car and banged their door into ours, upon further review, my dad concluded that no, with that kind of dent, someone had hit us in the parking lot at B's work, with no note to be found. To say we were mildly frustrated would be an understatement, and since then we've tried (and continue to try) to keep a spirit of forbearance about the situation. B's filing a claim with insurance tomorrow - thankfully it's covered under our comprehensive part of the plan. But with a deductible in the hundreds (not exactly money we have just lying around), we are not looking forward to spending some of our just-filed tax refund on fixing this door. Grrrrr.......
Tuesday, 4/13 - B got me these beautiful roses the Friday before, and after a weekend in water, they were starting to bloom. The blooms were simply gorgeous at their peak! We so enjoy having fresh flowers in our apartment; it adds a certain flair of color to an otherwise drab, generic space!
Wednesday, 4/14 - during a random Monday evening stop at Goodwill, we found this TV stand for $6.99. It is perfect for our aquarium, and I just love having more shelf space! I am a tad bit obsessed with picture frames, so having extra space to display more of them is always a treat. And we're definitely bibliophiles, so having room to store more books is always welcome! I actually still have two big boxes full of books at my parents' house, so having shelf space is imperative once those books are permanently in our possession.
Thursday, 4/15 - Happy Tax Day! On B's day off we received this beautiful wedding for late June in the mail. On the front is this picture of the marriage of Mary and Joseph, and on the back is the traditional invitation with the wording. I'm pretty sure I'm going to keep this picture, even after the wedding is long past! It is really beautiful, and I know that the nuptials will be even more so.
Friday, 4/16 - Happy Birthday, Pope Benedict! I am officially obsessed with Glee. I could watch the episodes over and over again, even just with them in the background as I tackle household chores and various other things. Mostly, I could watch it again and again because of the music - I found myself on Saturday with some time to kill and put on one of my favorite episodes, only to skip ahead to the musical numbers and listen to them! And Rachel Berry is by far my favorite character, if only for her voice. I could listen to her sing all day!
And that, cari amici, is a smattering of our week in pictures. Not terribly glamorous, but it's our life and we are blessed to live it. :)
A presto!
they really do say the darnedest things.
While babysitting for a new family today of three little girls, the three of us got on the topic of how I knew them. My name and number were given to their mother by my aunt, who has a daughter who is the same age as the eldest one of these girls - about eight. I began to explain to them that she's my cousin, which they couldn't quite seem to wrap their heads around. The middle girl, about five, behind the cutest bespectacled eyes said to me, "well, if you're her cousin, how come you're a grownup?" I ate it up! Apparently they don't have any "grownup cousins", and thought it was pretty neat that my cousin had one!
In His good and perfect will, if God chooses to bless us with children, and only blesses us with little girls, I would be perfectly okay with that. These little girls warmed my heart so very much. It was in the little moments of my afternoon that I realized, Yeah, I can totally do this - be a mom. And boy am I going to love it! I would be perfectly okay with any beautiful soul God chooses to give us, but.....wow, little girls. They are so beautiful! :)
A presto
In His good and perfect will, if God chooses to bless us with children, and only blesses us with little girls, I would be perfectly okay with that. These little girls warmed my heart so very much. It was in the little moments of my afternoon that I realized, Yeah, I can totally do this - be a mom. And boy am I going to love it! I would be perfectly okay with any beautiful soul God chooses to give us, but.....wow, little girls. They are so beautiful! :)
A presto
Sunday, April 18, 2010
il Santo Padre
picture from time.com
I am sick and tired of the attacks on the Holy Father.
I am sick and tired of journalists and mainstream media-types thinking they have some kind of authority to pass judgment on how the situation was handled and is still being handled.
I am sick and tired of people calling for him to resign. If people truly sought to understand the dignity and gravity of the papacy, they would quickly realize that resignation, especially for this Holy Father, is simply not an option.
I am sick and tired of the following words used to describe the church: old, hierarchical, patriarchal, antiquated, obsolete, out-of-touch, insensitive, etc.
I am sick and tired of the evil one and his despicable, deplorable, slimy hands in all of this.
This Holy Father, il Santo Padre, even five years after his election (Thanks be to God, five years ago tomorrow!), is still so misunderstood. For the media to suggest that this man, the Vicar of Christ, is out of touch with the Bride of Christ is simply baffling.
......In other news, B and I are, no doubt, more tired than usual this Sunday morning. We were roused from sleep around 1:00 this morning to the sound of banging and hysterical, blood-curdling shrieks from our front door. In our just-awake stupor and in the midst of trying to get our bearings, we were able to call the police and report what we heard. I kept post at our bedroom window, straining to see if the source of the voice had yet moved from our door - which it hadn't, which made me dread what the authorities would find once they arrived at our apartment.
Thankfully, the police arrived about fifteen minutes later - two squad cars and three officers, in fact - and, as it turns out, a pair of highly intoxicated souls had stumbled to our door, believing that our apartment was where they were staying the night. When we didn't answer, they panicked - albeit a bit melodramatically, as they were screaming and banging with what seemed to be an air of sheer panic. The officers were able to get them both on their feet and into the squad cars. I certainly hope they were able to get the help they needed last night. So, needless to say, after about an hourlong saga, around 2:00 we went back to bed - and the 4:45 alarm so B could get up in time for work came much too fast this morning.
What a night!
A presto :)
Thursday, April 15, 2010
ten quick things! i am....
1. beginning to have an unhealthy obsession with Glee! My mom gave me a giftcard to Target as an "Easter gift" a few weekends ago and I used it this week to buy season one on DVD. I just can't stop watching it - mostly because of the music. I could listen to it over and over! :)
2. very, very excited for the weddings we'll attend this summer. Wedding season is nigh upon us - and weddings have been on my mind all week, since we heard the news of our dear friends getting engaged over the weekend, and we received another wedding invitation this week for late June. If I counted right, we'll attend six weddings between Memorial Day weekend and early August. It plans to be quite the summer - and we're still so honored to be counted among those to be invited to all of these joyous gatherings!
3. dreading having to give the kitchen a good clean scrubbing. We had the dear priest who married us out for lunch last Sunday, and there are still remnants of that culinary adventure on our kitchen countertop - I haven't dreaded doing the dishes this much since before Lent! Hoping to wake up early and tackle them all tomorrow morning, or even make a dent tonight at some point. I don't know what it is about them, but I just hate doing the dishes.
4. suffering from a lot of pulled muscles, everywhere! I have gotten back into an exercise regimen and it's kicking my butt this week. I've started a walking schedule and I'm trying to implement some free weight/dumbbell lifting too. Well, my legs are killing me, my feet have blisters, and my abs are hurting from the (very few) crunches I've done this week! I have definitely been out of an exercising routine for quite some time! But it's great to get back into the swing of things and to get my heart rate up, even if only for half an hour a day.
5. reveling in the fact that we had our taxes taken care of three days before they were due to be postmarked. We went home to my parents' last weekend for just a day to have my dad help us compile everything - it was my first real lesson in filing taxes and I learned so much. I didn't learn enough to be comfortable filing them on our own next year, but it was certainly a step in the right direction. They've been in the mail since Monday - hopefully both the federal and state returns have made it already to their final destinations! (And we certainly can't wait for the refunds to start coming - we're looking at a refund much higher than I ever expected it to be!)
6. enjoying immensely the addition of an aquarium to our apartment! B and I have been interested in having a small aquarium for awhile now, and we finally acted on it. We went to PetSmart on Monday to get the lowdown about aquarium maintenance from one of the people on staff, and then returned there yesterday to buy the supplies. We're hoping to get back there tomorrow morning to get our fish! We're looking getting a few neon tetras and an African dwarf frog. (I could have done without the frog, but B seems to really want it!) We found a great used TV stand at Goodwill for $7.00 on Monday night, which has turned out to be the perfect piece of furniture for our little aquarium. I can't wait for it to be complete - hopefully at this time tomorrow!
7. asking the prayers of anyone and everyone for B's spot on the waiting list at the law school. We seem to have asked the prayers of everyone we've come across these last few days - it is such an honor (and a relief) to have so many kind souls lifting us up in prayer. We haven't heard anything yet, but B has started to write the supplementary letter he will submit to the admissions committee to reinforce his intent to enroll at the law school, should he be accepted.
8. rejoicing in the gift of the life of our Holy Father, who will turn 83 years old tomorrow! I remain so very grateful to Father God for the gift of Pope Benedict XVI to the world. And I can't believe that he will have been Pope five years, starting on the anniversary of his election, on Monday the 19th! Hoping that we can celebrate somehow tomorrow, maybe with some sweets? Despite the mudslinging in the mainstream media and the fallout from it, I am in unequivocal support of our Holy Father. He is a wonderfully pious, holy man!
9. looking forward to my birthday, in just about a week's time! I have no idea what B has planned for that weekend (if anything!). Nonetheless, I am very much looking forward to it, if only because B has the weekend off! :)
10. watching Braveheart, and eagerly anticipating my husband's return from class! Thursdays are really hard on him - class is all the way on the east side (about 45 minutes from where we live) and class usually goes until 9:00, if not a little later. Here's hoping he's already on his way home!
:)
A presto!
2. very, very excited for the weddings we'll attend this summer. Wedding season is nigh upon us - and weddings have been on my mind all week, since we heard the news of our dear friends getting engaged over the weekend, and we received another wedding invitation this week for late June. If I counted right, we'll attend six weddings between Memorial Day weekend and early August. It plans to be quite the summer - and we're still so honored to be counted among those to be invited to all of these joyous gatherings!
3. dreading having to give the kitchen a good clean scrubbing. We had the dear priest who married us out for lunch last Sunday, and there are still remnants of that culinary adventure on our kitchen countertop - I haven't dreaded doing the dishes this much since before Lent! Hoping to wake up early and tackle them all tomorrow morning, or even make a dent tonight at some point. I don't know what it is about them, but I just hate doing the dishes.
4. suffering from a lot of pulled muscles, everywhere! I have gotten back into an exercise regimen and it's kicking my butt this week. I've started a walking schedule and I'm trying to implement some free weight/dumbbell lifting too. Well, my legs are killing me, my feet have blisters, and my abs are hurting from the (very few) crunches I've done this week! I have definitely been out of an exercising routine for quite some time! But it's great to get back into the swing of things and to get my heart rate up, even if only for half an hour a day.
5. reveling in the fact that we had our taxes taken care of three days before they were due to be postmarked. We went home to my parents' last weekend for just a day to have my dad help us compile everything - it was my first real lesson in filing taxes and I learned so much. I didn't learn enough to be comfortable filing them on our own next year, but it was certainly a step in the right direction. They've been in the mail since Monday - hopefully both the federal and state returns have made it already to their final destinations! (And we certainly can't wait for the refunds to start coming - we're looking at a refund much higher than I ever expected it to be!)
6. enjoying immensely the addition of an aquarium to our apartment! B and I have been interested in having a small aquarium for awhile now, and we finally acted on it. We went to PetSmart on Monday to get the lowdown about aquarium maintenance from one of the people on staff, and then returned there yesterday to buy the supplies. We're hoping to get back there tomorrow morning to get our fish! We're looking getting a few neon tetras and an African dwarf frog. (I could have done without the frog, but B seems to really want it!) We found a great used TV stand at Goodwill for $7.00 on Monday night, which has turned out to be the perfect piece of furniture for our little aquarium. I can't wait for it to be complete - hopefully at this time tomorrow!
7. asking the prayers of anyone and everyone for B's spot on the waiting list at the law school. We seem to have asked the prayers of everyone we've come across these last few days - it is such an honor (and a relief) to have so many kind souls lifting us up in prayer. We haven't heard anything yet, but B has started to write the supplementary letter he will submit to the admissions committee to reinforce his intent to enroll at the law school, should he be accepted.
8. rejoicing in the gift of the life of our Holy Father, who will turn 83 years old tomorrow! I remain so very grateful to Father God for the gift of Pope Benedict XVI to the world. And I can't believe that he will have been Pope five years, starting on the anniversary of his election, on Monday the 19th! Hoping that we can celebrate somehow tomorrow, maybe with some sweets? Despite the mudslinging in the mainstream media and the fallout from it, I am in unequivocal support of our Holy Father. He is a wonderfully pious, holy man!
9. looking forward to my birthday, in just about a week's time! I have no idea what B has planned for that weekend (if anything!). Nonetheless, I am very much looking forward to it, if only because B has the weekend off! :)
10. watching Braveheart, and eagerly anticipating my husband's return from class! Thursdays are really hard on him - class is all the way on the east side (about 45 minutes from where we live) and class usually goes until 9:00, if not a little later. Here's hoping he's already on his way home!
:)
A presto!
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
living it out
Our vocation is such a beautiful gift. I think very often I forgot, especially in my discernment, that it is simply that - a gift from God. Usually I had this sense of entitlement - that I deserved this vocation or that vocation - but truly, honestly, wonderfully, it's a gift from the Father. While I fail and stumble and struggle through this vocation day in and day out, it remains one of the most beautiful gifts I've ever been given, and it's a permanent gift - it is not going away, ever. Especially in our engagement, the permanence of the vocation would sometimes make me uneasy or afraid - the evil one knows especially how to make me weak at the knees and writhe in confusion, and he did just that during our engagement. But as the days go by, and B and I struggle with some things and excel in others, the permanence of our union is such a relief to the both of us. We are going to be in each other's corners, rooting each other on, for the rest of our lives. We are bound up in one another, and have been called to bring the other to holiness. Bringing B to holiness has always been something that makes my stomach knot - immediately I think of my human frailty and I gulp at the thought of bringing my beloved to holiness. How can I help B achieve heaven, if there are some days when I'm so covered in sin that it's a struggle for me even to think of Christ? It is a daunting thought!
Yet B and I were created for this - I will never forget this strong, overpowering feeling very soon after marrying him. All of a sudden, like a wave in the ocean, it came over me: In His infinite love, God created me for this. In those moments of pure, unadulterated weakness, the love of my Father God is pretty much the only way I can get by. And, I'm slowly realizing, it is only by His great grace and limitless mercy that B and I are going to bring each other to holiness. And that is, by far, the greatest relief, because there is no way I could live out this vocation without His grace!
I'm sure none of this made sense. B and I had a conversation tonight about living it out - living out this vocation, and how we will best live this out for the rest of our lives. It sure stirred up some strong feelings in the both of us. What a joy it is going to be to figure this out, with God's help, for the rest of our lives!
Yet B and I were created for this - I will never forget this strong, overpowering feeling very soon after marrying him. All of a sudden, like a wave in the ocean, it came over me: In His infinite love, God created me for this. In those moments of pure, unadulterated weakness, the love of my Father God is pretty much the only way I can get by. And, I'm slowly realizing, it is only by His great grace and limitless mercy that B and I are going to bring each other to holiness. And that is, by far, the greatest relief, because there is no way I could live out this vocation without His grace!
I'm sure none of this made sense. B and I had a conversation tonight about living it out - living out this vocation, and how we will best live this out for the rest of our lives. It sure stirred up some strong feelings in the both of us. What a joy it is going to be to figure this out, with God's help, for the rest of our lives!
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
wedding wednesday
an hour early. :-)
We were only about two minutes from the church - our photographer found this amazing tree literally just down the road. What you don't realize from this picture was that we had to wade up to almost our waists in thick, meadow-like grass in order to get up the hill to this tree. By that time, I was thinking, "Heck - sounds good to me! The ceremony's over, so the dress can get a little mussed up!"
Looking back on it, however, I definitely should have worn different shoes for this part of pictures. :-)
B and I are gearing up for wedding season 2010 - we had a wedding in Texas about six weeks ago to kick things off, and, if we've calculated right, we have six more to attend between now and September. Some of our dear friends were actually engaged over the weekend and are planning August nuptials - amazingly beautiful! We're looking forward to traveling for some of these weddings (we actually need to book some plane tickets to Kansas City for a wedding in July), getting into "wedding attire" shape, and maybe even purchasing some new digs for some of these occasions! (I'm getting a new dress from my mom for my birthday, so I'm particularly excited about that!)
It is truly an honor to be present at these occasions - to witness a beautiful couple stand before God and their families and unite themselves to one another for life. Each time, it reminds me of the beautiful vows we took last August, and almost serves as an examination of conscience for me. Am I living out the vows I made to B at our wedding Mass? Am I being faithful to the promises I made to him, and to God, on that day? And then, I am reminded of my human frailties and the times I've stumbled in these past eight months, and resolve to be a better wife to B, and to live out better my vocation so as to give all the glory to my Father God.
Picutre taken by Narella Studio, www.narella-studio.com
Monday, April 12, 2010
"in case you forgot....I'm here."
Last Thursday was a difficult day - at least parts of it. For the first time in a long while, I accompanied B to the east side of town to the technical college for his class that night. Once I dropped him off, I went onto pick up my cousin and hang out with her for a bit while her mom hosted a "ladies' night" get-together at their house. On the way over to the east side, B and I had a really great conversation - skipping around from topic to topic, what we normally do during long car rides. Eventually, however, the conversation switched gears, as we started to talk about the future.
In recent years, I've always approached the future with hesitance. For two straight years, B and I have endured a spring where the future was totally unknown. The never-ending sea of graduate school applications always leaves guessing and speculating about where exactly we're going to end up, come August. We lived through this last spring - planning a wedding, rejoicing in engagement, but not knowing where we were going to be ultimately. One of my favorite phrases last year, when folks would ask about our plans, was, "well, we know we're going to be married in this church at this time on August 22nd, but we're not sure where we'll be on August 23rd." Ideas and dreams and hopes about the future swirled in our minds - would we be able to honeymoon? Would our honeymoon consist of traveling cross-country in a Uhaul, off to law school? Would we have to move before the wedding for law school and come back to Madison to get married, and where would we both live separately in the interim before the wedding? The sheer uncertainty of it all was enough to throw me into a tizzy on more than one occasion.
And the irony is, that a year after our first round of law school applications and not knowing where we would end up, here we are again, nearly eight months into our marriage, and completely unaware of what the future holds yet again. There's no denying that God really does have a sense of humor. This time around, I know there's been a lot more anxiety for the both of us - to us, it seems like there are so many more variables spinning around this decision. Will law school happen for B? What school, if any, will accept him? Where will it be? If law school doesn't happen, do we really want to go through another round of applications next spring? Where does starting a family fit in? The questions seem endless for us - probably more so for a high-strung person like me, but I know that B has been struggling with the uncertainty too.
Anyway, back to the drive to the east side. The conversation switched gears and all of a sudden out of my mouth spilled all of the uncertainty, worry, and doubt about the future. All of those questions that we've asked of each other, and of God, spilled out into yet another conversation between us. And as always, B was gentle and encouraging, reassuring me that we will know in time where we are meant to be. And I, as always, in my weakness, was doubtful and uncertain and worried. All of my worry was suffocating, quieting me for the rest of the trip to the tech school. I tried to shake it off as I said goodbye to B, but the trip to my cousin's was one of unease, and I tried my darnedest to pray in that moment, even in simply a whisper to my Father God, asking Him to keep our situation close to His heart.
The night passed, B's class ended, I took my cousin to Culver's and the library and we had a wonderful time out on the town. B and I headed back to the west side and prayed the rosary on our trip back to our apartment. We piled into our place, dropping our bags and belongings, and I logged onto the computer for a minute before our weekly TV show came on. Eventually, we logged onto Brad's e-mail so he could check for any messages.....
and there it was.
The simplest, yet most wonderful reminder of God's hand in all of this.
An e-mail from the admissions committee of Brad's top choice, informing him of his spot on a waiting list for admission.
It was as if the voice of my Father God had whispered to me, His silly little girl: "All of your worry and your doubt of my faithfulness, and look! In the midst of it, I am still here. And I still love the both of you."
It was littlest, but most needed glimpse of His work in our lives. Even in our weakness and in our failures, especially our failures to return to Him faithfully in prayer and sacrifice, He is still present in our lives. In spite of our broken humanity, God still works in the situations that, to Brad and I, seem most important in our lives at this moment. He is still there; He is still faithful. The e-mail wasn't an invitation to admission, but it also wasn't a rejection of admission. For me, that 200-word e-mail was a profound reminder that God is still in the midst of things, even when we doubt He's even there.
B might get into that law school in the fall, and he might not. Yet now, more than ever, my husband and I remain convinced at how much God is working in our lives, even when we fail to notice it, and fail even more so to give Him the glory, honor, and praise He most assuredly deserves.
In recent years, I've always approached the future with hesitance. For two straight years, B and I have endured a spring where the future was totally unknown. The never-ending sea of graduate school applications always leaves guessing and speculating about where exactly we're going to end up, come August. We lived through this last spring - planning a wedding, rejoicing in engagement, but not knowing where we were going to be ultimately. One of my favorite phrases last year, when folks would ask about our plans, was, "well, we know we're going to be married in this church at this time on August 22nd, but we're not sure where we'll be on August 23rd." Ideas and dreams and hopes about the future swirled in our minds - would we be able to honeymoon? Would our honeymoon consist of traveling cross-country in a Uhaul, off to law school? Would we have to move before the wedding for law school and come back to Madison to get married, and where would we both live separately in the interim before the wedding? The sheer uncertainty of it all was enough to throw me into a tizzy on more than one occasion.
And the irony is, that a year after our first round of law school applications and not knowing where we would end up, here we are again, nearly eight months into our marriage, and completely unaware of what the future holds yet again. There's no denying that God really does have a sense of humor. This time around, I know there's been a lot more anxiety for the both of us - to us, it seems like there are so many more variables spinning around this decision. Will law school happen for B? What school, if any, will accept him? Where will it be? If law school doesn't happen, do we really want to go through another round of applications next spring? Where does starting a family fit in? The questions seem endless for us - probably more so for a high-strung person like me, but I know that B has been struggling with the uncertainty too.
Anyway, back to the drive to the east side. The conversation switched gears and all of a sudden out of my mouth spilled all of the uncertainty, worry, and doubt about the future. All of those questions that we've asked of each other, and of God, spilled out into yet another conversation between us. And as always, B was gentle and encouraging, reassuring me that we will know in time where we are meant to be. And I, as always, in my weakness, was doubtful and uncertain and worried. All of my worry was suffocating, quieting me for the rest of the trip to the tech school. I tried to shake it off as I said goodbye to B, but the trip to my cousin's was one of unease, and I tried my darnedest to pray in that moment, even in simply a whisper to my Father God, asking Him to keep our situation close to His heart.
The night passed, B's class ended, I took my cousin to Culver's and the library and we had a wonderful time out on the town. B and I headed back to the west side and prayed the rosary on our trip back to our apartment. We piled into our place, dropping our bags and belongings, and I logged onto the computer for a minute before our weekly TV show came on. Eventually, we logged onto Brad's e-mail so he could check for any messages.....
and there it was.
The simplest, yet most wonderful reminder of God's hand in all of this.
An e-mail from the admissions committee of Brad's top choice, informing him of his spot on a waiting list for admission.
It was as if the voice of my Father God had whispered to me, His silly little girl: "All of your worry and your doubt of my faithfulness, and look! In the midst of it, I am still here. And I still love the both of you."
It was littlest, but most needed glimpse of His work in our lives. Even in our weakness and in our failures, especially our failures to return to Him faithfully in prayer and sacrifice, He is still present in our lives. In spite of our broken humanity, God still works in the situations that, to Brad and I, seem most important in our lives at this moment. He is still there; He is still faithful. The e-mail wasn't an invitation to admission, but it also wasn't a rejection of admission. For me, that 200-word e-mail was a profound reminder that God is still in the midst of things, even when we doubt He's even there.
B might get into that law school in the fall, and he might not. Yet now, more than ever, my husband and I remain convinced at how much God is working in our lives, even when we fail to notice it, and fail even more so to give Him the glory, honor, and praise He most assuredly deserves.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
ten quick things! i am.....
1. listening to "Dancing with Myself" from the cast of "Glee" as I type this. It is by far my most favorite song of the soundtrack! Who knew that they could take a Billy Idol song and make it so dang catchy?!
2. trying to catch World Cup Fever as acutely as my husband. He just spent the last ten minutes on YouTube watching Maradona, Pele, and a host of other futbol legends. We're already starting to trash talk about the upcoming tournament - he bleeds Spanish yellow and red, and I bleed the blue of the Italian Azzurri, while we also both root for the red, white, and blue of the American motherland. It will be quite the start to summer - it is right around the corner!3. going to attempt to be more faithful to this pitiful excuse of a blog! I really am - it's sad, the infrequency of it. If anything, I would like to use it as a journal of our lives together - growing up, figuring stuff out, and, God willing, raising children.
4. filing my taxes with my dad this weekend. Nothing like waiting until the last minute! I certainly wanted them to be filed sooner, but a mix-up with payroll at work kept me from getting my final W-2 until just this week! Ugh....
5. booking airplane tickets to Denver for about a month from now! We're hoping to get out west to see my brother-in-law graduate from college. I have never been to Colorado, so I am super excited at the prospect of going! I can only stay for a couple days - my husband will stay longer and I'm going to need to fly home two days early, as I'm the confirmation sponsor for my cousin in his ceremony that weekend (actually, the day of the graduation ceremony, too). But I am so very excited to see my in-laws again - haven't seen them since the wedding!
6. enjoying immensely our high-resolution wedding photos. They are just as beautiful as the day they were taken. They transport us right back to that beautiful, sacramental day! :-)
7. anticipating the cooking of beef stroganoff for Divine Mercy Sunday. The dear, wonderful priest who presided at our Nuptial Mass back in August will come to our apartment on Sunday for a long overdue visit. His assignment is downtown with the UW crowd, so he rarely has a free moment - this will certainly be a treat (not to mention a blessing) for us. I promised him a stroganoff from Williams-Sonoma's slow cooker cookbook - let's hope it turns out as well as it did the first time I made it!
8. learning (always!) to trust the plan of my Father God. We're back in the throes of uncertainty these days, not quite sure where we'll end up for the next academic year. Law school applications are being thrown around, letters are slowly trickling in, and in the midst of all of that, we're trying to remember that He has our best intentions in mind, and that He really does will the best for us. It's just painfully hard for us to recall that, when we're living in what seems like a mess of confusion! Jesus, I trust in You. :-)
9. continuing, ever so slowly, to organize our apartment. It sure does seem that life gets in the way, every time I try to tidy and organize our belongings in this space. As soon as the bedroom is clean, all of a sudden, life happens! -And I'm caught in the struggle of trying not to fall behind in household chores. Someday, I will (God willing!) master the ability to keep on top of things!
10. listening, now, to "Africa" by Toto, and needing to wake up my husband from his nap soon! Then we're off to the tech school campus for his last class of the week, and I'm off to hang out with my cousin while her mom hosts a get-together at her house. Pair that with our weekly viewing of Project Runway (really, often our only "quality time" of the week), and it plans to be quite the evening! :-)
a presto!
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Sunday, March 21, 2010
thank you, Madam Speaker....
thanks to your sweeping healthcare legislation, someday in the far-off future I will need to explain to my children the reason they are still paying for it!
I wholeheartedly agree that healthcare reform is necessary. Goodness knows that I've spent enough mindless hours worrying about my own insurance coverage, and what would happen to that coverage if B or I were to fall ill. I don't disagree that this reform needs to happen - the insurance industry needs to be regulated, and there is a need for access to healthcare for the poorest of Americans. I just don't think this was the right bill at the right time.
If we are to pass reforms so vast and so sweeping and so groundbreaking, this legislation certainly shouldn't be done hastily. It shouldn't have to become law only after payoffs and quid-pro-quo deals take place - that just isn't the way legislation like this should come to pass. What's more tragic is that these reforms really shouldn't be taking place when a majority of the American people don't agree with it. I can only imagine what the Founding Fathers would say about the way this law came into being....
I earnestly hope that the predictions of the GOP do not come true after this bill is signed into law: that it will be a trainwreck for our nation, a fiscal calamity, that it will be more devastating to Americans than it is helpful. I also hope, most earnestly, that the eleventh hour Stupak coalition deals will be more than just meaningless dribble. It will be the ultimate travesty if this bill becomes the law of the land and innocent, unborn children will have to suffer because of a meaningless, eleventh hour, empty promise.
Our Lady of Guadalupe, patroness of the Americas, pray for us!
Mary the Immaculate Conception, patroness of the United States, pray for us!
I wholeheartedly agree that healthcare reform is necessary. Goodness knows that I've spent enough mindless hours worrying about my own insurance coverage, and what would happen to that coverage if B or I were to fall ill. I don't disagree that this reform needs to happen - the insurance industry needs to be regulated, and there is a need for access to healthcare for the poorest of Americans. I just don't think this was the right bill at the right time.
If we are to pass reforms so vast and so sweeping and so groundbreaking, this legislation certainly shouldn't be done hastily. It shouldn't have to become law only after payoffs and quid-pro-quo deals take place - that just isn't the way legislation like this should come to pass. What's more tragic is that these reforms really shouldn't be taking place when a majority of the American people don't agree with it. I can only imagine what the Founding Fathers would say about the way this law came into being....
I earnestly hope that the predictions of the GOP do not come true after this bill is signed into law: that it will be a trainwreck for our nation, a fiscal calamity, that it will be more devastating to Americans than it is helpful. I also hope, most earnestly, that the eleventh hour Stupak coalition deals will be more than just meaningless dribble. It will be the ultimate travesty if this bill becomes the law of the land and innocent, unborn children will have to suffer because of a meaningless, eleventh hour, empty promise.
Our Lady of Guadalupe, patroness of the Americas, pray for us!
Mary the Immaculate Conception, patroness of the United States, pray for us!
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
lonestar
Briefly during our half-iversary celebration yesterday - I believe we were making the trek outside to switch our laundry from washer to dryer - B and I commented on how much we're ready to BE DONE with winter weather. On some level, I have always enjoyed winter weather - a snowfall on a December night, just in time for Christmas, a soft, snow-covered scene the next morning, all of that stuff. This winter, however, is a bit different for us. I think most of this dislike stems from the fact that neither of us really like to drive in the stuff. In college and even in high school, I was a bit insulated from winter driving - my longest commute was usually to the high school, only about twenty minutes away (and in the city, so the roads were plowed well), and I didn't have a car in college so public transportation and my legs were the means to get around. This winter, we live on the west side of town and are often traveling around the city or beyond, and we really, truly, honestly don't enjoy a snowy commute.
Last weekend's commute from Minnesota didn't help matters much either......
We were in the Twin Cities, visiting a dear friend of mine and bridesmaid in our wedding. She is a director/manager for a summer camp in Twin Cities suburbia and I've always wanted to go and see where she works, since I've heard so much about it! She also snagged us tickets to go to the Minnesota Wild NHL game while we were there, so we really couldn't resist.
The weekend was wonderful - an easy, albeit long, drive to the Cities, with a short stopover in Eau Claire to visit my sister and her boyfriend, who were celebrating Valentine's Day there. The only time we encountered traffic issues was when we got onto 494 to wind around the city, and even then it was only but a brief time. Saturday was wonderful, being able to see her in her element amongst her campers and then taking in a late dinner to catch up on things. We eventually came back to her place and proceeded to enjoy "Evan Almighty" and Guitar Hero into the wee hours of the night - something our "old married bones" don't do very often! :-) Sunday morning was rightly spent at Holy Mass, singing the final Gloria before Easter and disbelieving that we were truly about to enter into the Holy Season of Lent just days later. Following Mass, we went to lunch, caught up some more (we were also with an old high school classmate of mine, a law student in the cities, who had a second ticket for B), and before long, it was off to the arena.
The game was really enjoyable - I hadn't ever been to an NHL match before so it was quite the experience for B and me. The Wild enjoyed a considerable lead throughout the game and eventually beat Vancouver, 6-2. All in all, it was a wonderful afternoon, spent with friends who we don't often get to see.
As we were leaving the arena amidst the throngs of people, I saw it - that old familiar whitish haze in the sky during a considerable snowfall. I couldn't believe my eyes - we had just talked earlier in the day about how the Twin Cities metro area was supposed to get snow, but only a dusting of one to two inches. What I saw before me was probably already a good inch of accumulated snowfall. As if on command, my stomach knotted, and I braced myself for a long, tedious commute back to Wisconsin.
We started our journey back to the Dairy State around 5:30 that evening, taking things easy on 494, not quite trusting the roads just yet. The snow wasn't yet accumulating on the freeways and traffic was still plugging along at a decent speed, yet we didn't trust what we saw. As our ride progressed, our hunches were right. As we got onto 94-West to head back into Wisconsin, in the far east suburbs of the cities, we saw the first of many different incidents of cars spinning out and hitting everything in their paths - culverts, medians, shoulders, you name it. Eventually, we saw a semi that had jacknifed. Immediately we turned on the brakes and I'm not sure B went over 45 mph again that night. As we trekked into Hudson, we stopped at a McDonalds, just to shake off the tension of the drive and to regroup - I'll admit I was a bit hysterical. We went another 40 miles in about 90 minutes, stopping off again in Menomonie to refresh ourselves.
As we turned onto the freeway from Menomonie, suddenly, we found ourselves at a standstill. On the highway. As we tapped our brakes the car started to click-click-click and wanted to slide, but thankfully held on and we stopped in time. A series of emergency vehicles snaked through the traffic - flustering us as the semis behind us honked incessantly to signal us to move over - and after a few minutes, traffic resumed. As we passed the emergency vehicles I saw a State Trooper shuffling his feet on the pavement - it was that slick, and we were driving on it! It was then, as we resumed our travels after our unexpected pause on the interstate, that we decided we needed an overnight furlough. We called my sister's boyfriend in Eau Claire, who graciously put us up for the night. We've never been more grateful to get off the road! We resumed our trip on Monday morning and arrived back to town around noon.
This long, winding story segues back into my original thought - B and I DO NOT like to travel in this stuff. B (who is usually driving through it) becomes very tense - there were times on the road two Sundays ago when he only had his palms on the steering wheel because he was trying to relax his fingers. In the midst of his tension, I become, well, nearly hysterical and terribly, terribly anxious. And it was during our drive home two weekends ago, in the snow, that we decided, rather abruptly, that we wouldn't mind relocating to a warmer climate for a few years.
We're in the process of figuring out where we'll be after our lease expires here - B has started to reapply to law schools, which leaves us in a little bit of limbo until we find out if he's accepted anywhere. As we pray that God will reveal where He wants us, in our future plans we haven't yet ruled out a "big move" to a warmer climate - likely The Lonestar State, Texas. We're both familiar enough with Texas (B lived there in childhood and heck, I just really love Texas), that we're starting to pray about the possibility of moving, regardless if B gets into law school there. In these first initial stages, there's a great deal of excitement - anticipating a move, complete with a new city, new people, new church, all of it. And in the back of my mind there's just a tiny slice of fear - fear of the unknown, fear of being that far from my own family, fear of not having a support system there like we do here. In spite of my excitement and in spite of my fear, it is a comfort to know that God knows where we'll be, and that He will reveal His plan, in His time.
How great is He.
Last weekend's commute from Minnesota didn't help matters much either......
We were in the Twin Cities, visiting a dear friend of mine and bridesmaid in our wedding. She is a director/manager for a summer camp in Twin Cities suburbia and I've always wanted to go and see where she works, since I've heard so much about it! She also snagged us tickets to go to the Minnesota Wild NHL game while we were there, so we really couldn't resist.
The weekend was wonderful - an easy, albeit long, drive to the Cities, with a short stopover in Eau Claire to visit my sister and her boyfriend, who were celebrating Valentine's Day there. The only time we encountered traffic issues was when we got onto 494 to wind around the city, and even then it was only but a brief time. Saturday was wonderful, being able to see her in her element amongst her campers and then taking in a late dinner to catch up on things. We eventually came back to her place and proceeded to enjoy "Evan Almighty" and Guitar Hero into the wee hours of the night - something our "old married bones" don't do very often! :-) Sunday morning was rightly spent at Holy Mass, singing the final Gloria before Easter and disbelieving that we were truly about to enter into the Holy Season of Lent just days later. Following Mass, we went to lunch, caught up some more (we were also with an old high school classmate of mine, a law student in the cities, who had a second ticket for B), and before long, it was off to the arena.
The game was really enjoyable - I hadn't ever been to an NHL match before so it was quite the experience for B and me. The Wild enjoyed a considerable lead throughout the game and eventually beat Vancouver, 6-2. All in all, it was a wonderful afternoon, spent with friends who we don't often get to see.
As we were leaving the arena amidst the throngs of people, I saw it - that old familiar whitish haze in the sky during a considerable snowfall. I couldn't believe my eyes - we had just talked earlier in the day about how the Twin Cities metro area was supposed to get snow, but only a dusting of one to two inches. What I saw before me was probably already a good inch of accumulated snowfall. As if on command, my stomach knotted, and I braced myself for a long, tedious commute back to Wisconsin.
We started our journey back to the Dairy State around 5:30 that evening, taking things easy on 494, not quite trusting the roads just yet. The snow wasn't yet accumulating on the freeways and traffic was still plugging along at a decent speed, yet we didn't trust what we saw. As our ride progressed, our hunches were right. As we got onto 94-West to head back into Wisconsin, in the far east suburbs of the cities, we saw the first of many different incidents of cars spinning out and hitting everything in their paths - culverts, medians, shoulders, you name it. Eventually, we saw a semi that had jacknifed. Immediately we turned on the brakes and I'm not sure B went over 45 mph again that night. As we trekked into Hudson, we stopped at a McDonalds, just to shake off the tension of the drive and to regroup - I'll admit I was a bit hysterical. We went another 40 miles in about 90 minutes, stopping off again in Menomonie to refresh ourselves.
As we turned onto the freeway from Menomonie, suddenly, we found ourselves at a standstill. On the highway. As we tapped our brakes the car started to click-click-click and wanted to slide, but thankfully held on and we stopped in time. A series of emergency vehicles snaked through the traffic - flustering us as the semis behind us honked incessantly to signal us to move over - and after a few minutes, traffic resumed. As we passed the emergency vehicles I saw a State Trooper shuffling his feet on the pavement - it was that slick, and we were driving on it! It was then, as we resumed our travels after our unexpected pause on the interstate, that we decided we needed an overnight furlough. We called my sister's boyfriend in Eau Claire, who graciously put us up for the night. We've never been more grateful to get off the road! We resumed our trip on Monday morning and arrived back to town around noon.
This long, winding story segues back into my original thought - B and I DO NOT like to travel in this stuff. B (who is usually driving through it) becomes very tense - there were times on the road two Sundays ago when he only had his palms on the steering wheel because he was trying to relax his fingers. In the midst of his tension, I become, well, nearly hysterical and terribly, terribly anxious. And it was during our drive home two weekends ago, in the snow, that we decided, rather abruptly, that we wouldn't mind relocating to a warmer climate for a few years.
We're in the process of figuring out where we'll be after our lease expires here - B has started to reapply to law schools, which leaves us in a little bit of limbo until we find out if he's accepted anywhere. As we pray that God will reveal where He wants us, in our future plans we haven't yet ruled out a "big move" to a warmer climate - likely The Lonestar State, Texas. We're both familiar enough with Texas (B lived there in childhood and heck, I just really love Texas), that we're starting to pray about the possibility of moving, regardless if B gets into law school there. In these first initial stages, there's a great deal of excitement - anticipating a move, complete with a new city, new people, new church, all of it. And in the back of my mind there's just a tiny slice of fear - fear of the unknown, fear of being that far from my own family, fear of not having a support system there like we do here. In spite of my excitement and in spite of my fear, it is a comfort to know that God knows where we'll be, and that He will reveal His plan, in His time.
How great is He.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
half a year!
It is so hard to believe that half a year has gone by since I married my best friend, the man who teaches me more about myself with each passing day, the man with the heart of Joseph, the man who loves me in spite of my weakness and shows me through his own love for me a glimpse of what the love of the Triune God is for us all.
I told B tonight, as we reveled in our "half-iversary" by watching the movie "Up" and completing a load of laundry (the simple things), how grateful I am for his heart of Joseph, and the fact that he loves me in spite of my painful weakness and sin. Brad loves with a heart like that of the foster-father of Jesus - virtually never thinking of his own gain, but that of his family (which, as of this moment, is only me). To have a husband so committed and so focused to the well-being of his family, so much that he would deny his own pleasure and comfort day in and day out, is more and more humbling as the days go by. If only I could love "my Joseph" as he loves me! What love! Lord, grant me the strength to do so!
I married one of the most amazing men in the world six months ago. He is already an incredible husband, and God willing, will be an amazing father, should we be blessed with children. And I, worthless and sinful as I am, have the blessing, the privilege, the honor, of being his wife for the rest of our lives. Lord, that I might be fully aware of this blessing every moment of my life! Thank You!
a presto.
I told B tonight, as we reveled in our "half-iversary" by watching the movie "Up" and completing a load of laundry (the simple things), how grateful I am for his heart of Joseph, and the fact that he loves me in spite of my painful weakness and sin. Brad loves with a heart like that of the foster-father of Jesus - virtually never thinking of his own gain, but that of his family (which, as of this moment, is only me). To have a husband so committed and so focused to the well-being of his family, so much that he would deny his own pleasure and comfort day in and day out, is more and more humbling as the days go by. If only I could love "my Joseph" as he loves me! What love! Lord, grant me the strength to do so!
I married one of the most amazing men in the world six months ago. He is already an incredible husband, and God willing, will be an amazing father, should we be blessed with children. And I, worthless and sinful as I am, have the blessing, the privilege, the honor, of being his wife for the rest of our lives. Lord, that I might be fully aware of this blessing every moment of my life! Thank You!
a presto.
Friday, February 12, 2010
ten current things. i am:
1. still smelling the glorious aroma of fresh chocolate chip cookies in our apartment.
2. finally taking a daily multivitamin, something I should have been doing for years.
3. watching "You've Got Mail."
4. the proud wife of a law school applicant. B submitted the first of many applications today.
5. tiredly, exasperatingly, painfully, and sometimes tearfully trying to discern the Lord's will for me in these next few years, particularly in my vocation as a wife. It is truly a beautiful, sacrificial, wonderful process.
6. not behind on the dishes, for the first time this week!
7. anxiously awaiting the arrival of my husband back from work!
8. still marveling at my husband's "heart of Joseph."
9. packing and getting ready to skip town tomorrow - off to Minnesota for the weekend!
10. no matter how often I forget or disregard it - a child of the Father.
a presto
2. finally taking a daily multivitamin, something I should have been doing for years.
3. watching "You've Got Mail."
4. the proud wife of a law school applicant. B submitted the first of many applications today.
5. tiredly, exasperatingly, painfully, and sometimes tearfully trying to discern the Lord's will for me in these next few years, particularly in my vocation as a wife. It is truly a beautiful, sacrificial, wonderful process.
6. not behind on the dishes, for the first time this week!
7. anxiously awaiting the arrival of my husband back from work!
8. still marveling at my husband's "heart of Joseph."
9. packing and getting ready to skip town tomorrow - off to Minnesota for the weekend!
10. no matter how often I forget or disregard it - a child of the Father.
a presto
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
state of the union
The evening of the State of the Union is, quite seriously, one of my favorite evenings of the whole year. As a student of politics in college, there is something I've always found very intriguing about these nights. All of Washington gathers on Capitol Hill, all three branches of government. There is pomp and pageantry and tradition aplenty on this one night in January - everything from the seating of the First Lady, to the copies of the speech given to the VP and Speaker, to the Sergeant at Arms bellowing to the Congress the arrival of the president. As Chris Wallace said this evening, this night bears the closest resemblance to the parliamentary system of England - cheers, jeers, boos and applause from all corners of the chamber. There is just something about this night that I've always enjoyed - a new blueprint for the country unveiled, the constant clamor between the two parties, the incessant standing and applause throughout the whole of the president's address. There's just something about this night that really displays the democratic ideal of this country - however cracked and broken it might seem every other day of the year.
A new president took to the podium for the State of the Union this year - he addressed the nation last year as a newly elected president, so that speech wasn't considered a State of the Union address. This was the first SotU by a different president since I was fifteen years old. The speech was, in a word, predictable - full of the same rhetoric we've heard for the past several months. And following the speech, one year into his presidency, I remain unconvinced - unconvinced of his policy, unconvinced of his politics, and unconvinced of his intentions for this country. Call me a right-wing nutjob, a moron, an idiot, whatever you will..... but I am just not convinced.
I watched George W. Bush deliver the State of the Union address for six years - from 2002 to 2008. His first State of the Union came four months after the deadliest terror attack in the history of this country. And I may have been an idealistic teenager back then, but when I watched George Bush deliver a State of the Union address, there wasn't a shred of doubt in my mind that here was a man who believed wholeheartedly that the policies he was enacting, however unpopular with the left, were in the very best interests of his country and its citizens, his constituency. He was a man entirely convicted, driven by a deep love of country and a fierce loyalty to protecting her citizens. I don't see that in this current president. I see a chief executive blinded by his own perception of "doing what is right" - even when his policies are so grossly unpopular with the American people. We see a president passionately embroiled in the healthcare debate - a policy move determined to be painfully unpopular with the electorate, as shown by the Senate victory in Massachusetts and by the dozens and dozens of protests throughout the summer. Can he not just take the hint?
Maybe I am just another example of partisan politics. One could certainly argue this same point with George W. Bush - a president blinded by his own convictions, even when grossly unpopular. And perhaps I am just another right-wing nutjob who is stupid enough to laud George W. Bush. Yet I remain convinced that in the wake of September 11, 2001, there was no man in this country more dedicated to preserving my life as an American citizen than, in the words of many leftists, that moronic, monkeyfaced Texan who can't read.
And as for his successor, his politics, policies, and intentions for this nation?
......Right now, I am just not convinced.
A new president took to the podium for the State of the Union this year - he addressed the nation last year as a newly elected president, so that speech wasn't considered a State of the Union address. This was the first SotU by a different president since I was fifteen years old. The speech was, in a word, predictable - full of the same rhetoric we've heard for the past several months. And following the speech, one year into his presidency, I remain unconvinced - unconvinced of his policy, unconvinced of his politics, and unconvinced of his intentions for this country. Call me a right-wing nutjob, a moron, an idiot, whatever you will..... but I am just not convinced.
I watched George W. Bush deliver the State of the Union address for six years - from 2002 to 2008. His first State of the Union came four months after the deadliest terror attack in the history of this country. And I may have been an idealistic teenager back then, but when I watched George Bush deliver a State of the Union address, there wasn't a shred of doubt in my mind that here was a man who believed wholeheartedly that the policies he was enacting, however unpopular with the left, were in the very best interests of his country and its citizens, his constituency. He was a man entirely convicted, driven by a deep love of country and a fierce loyalty to protecting her citizens. I don't see that in this current president. I see a chief executive blinded by his own perception of "doing what is right" - even when his policies are so grossly unpopular with the American people. We see a president passionately embroiled in the healthcare debate - a policy move determined to be painfully unpopular with the electorate, as shown by the Senate victory in Massachusetts and by the dozens and dozens of protests throughout the summer. Can he not just take the hint?
Maybe I am just another example of partisan politics. One could certainly argue this same point with George W. Bush - a president blinded by his own convictions, even when grossly unpopular. And perhaps I am just another right-wing nutjob who is stupid enough to laud George W. Bush. Yet I remain convinced that in the wake of September 11, 2001, there was no man in this country more dedicated to preserving my life as an American citizen than, in the words of many leftists, that moronic, monkeyfaced Texan who can't read.
And as for his successor, his politics, policies, and intentions for this nation?
......Right now, I am just not convinced.
things i'm learning about living with someone else
1. We both tend to hang onto things that don't necessarily need to be "hung onto". For example: I still have about a dozen copies of surplus wedding invitations, college textbooks (I am particularly attached to my constitutional law book), and seemingly dozens of tee shirts that I just can't part with. He's the same way, except with other things - oodles of miscellaneous papers, video gaming equipment, and more clothes than me, it sometimes seems.
2. With all of this stuff comes the need to downsize and be terribly organized - things we aren't necessarily good at. I've attempted to tackle our master bedroom and get it organized at least three solid times since we've been at this apartment, and each time I make a true dent in the process, but inevitably wind up tired and discouraged. It's my hope to get off to Target tomorrow and invest in some big plastic storage containers, just to get the clutter out of the way. We can tackle and eliminate the excess stuff later, it's the organization I'm really after right now.
3. Our next apartment has to have the following qualifications (in no particular order of importance): a larger kitchen with more storage space, in-apartment laundry, and extra storage space somewhere on the premises. To think, we saw an apartment this summer with two of those three qualifications, and we were too timid to jump on it right away, and ended up losing it. At the time we signed our current lease, I didn't want to say that we "settled" on the apartment, but looking back on that moment six months ago, we definitely rushed into this property. We (or, probably, just I) were so worried on having the apartment situation resolved before B left for Texas that we hurriedly filled out and dropped off an application at this complex the day before his flight. I'm realizing now that the rent on these apartments, for the amenities we have, is a bit inflated. Good to know for future reference! :)
Pardon these mindless ramblings - I just spent a good ninety minutes on attempting to organize our master bedroom and I'm a bit overwhelmed by it all.
a presto
2. With all of this stuff comes the need to downsize and be terribly organized - things we aren't necessarily good at. I've attempted to tackle our master bedroom and get it organized at least three solid times since we've been at this apartment, and each time I make a true dent in the process, but inevitably wind up tired and discouraged. It's my hope to get off to Target tomorrow and invest in some big plastic storage containers, just to get the clutter out of the way. We can tackle and eliminate the excess stuff later, it's the organization I'm really after right now.
3. Our next apartment has to have the following qualifications (in no particular order of importance): a larger kitchen with more storage space, in-apartment laundry, and extra storage space somewhere on the premises. To think, we saw an apartment this summer with two of those three qualifications, and we were too timid to jump on it right away, and ended up losing it. At the time we signed our current lease, I didn't want to say that we "settled" on the apartment, but looking back on that moment six months ago, we definitely rushed into this property. We (or, probably, just I) were so worried on having the apartment situation resolved before B left for Texas that we hurriedly filled out and dropped off an application at this complex the day before his flight. I'm realizing now that the rent on these apartments, for the amenities we have, is a bit inflated. Good to know for future reference! :)
Pardon these mindless ramblings - I just spent a good ninety minutes on attempting to organize our master bedroom and I'm a bit overwhelmed by it all.
a presto
Thursday, January 21, 2010
reason #103 why one of us needs to enroll in law school....
we just spent the last 20 or so minutes debating the just-announced Supreme Court opinion regarding campaign finance law, and trying to decide from which angles the petitioner and respondent could argue their respective points.
a presto! :)
a presto! :)
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
53 years in the making
In three weeks, my maternal grandparents, 75 and 77 years old, will celebrate 53 (!) years of marriage. For the past week, my husband and I were blessed enough to spend some quality time with them. Their winter homestead is in the Hill Country of Texas and we drove with them. Some would say we drove them to Texas - there is a bit of hesitation within my mother's family to have them make the 1300 mile trip on their own, simply due to their age and the health struggles associated with being in their seventies. I initially pitched the idea to my grandmother in October and she immediately figured that it was a setup. In part, it probably was - but it quickly developed into quality time with them that I know both B and I will always treasure.
In that week with them, we were able to learn more about them and, most importantly, experience their fierce devotion to one another. It's a devotion that isn't terribly overt - it's not romanticized and it's not overly affectionate, but it is a quiet, strong, fierce married love. They show it in the simplest ways - Gran helping Grandpa get his coat off, holding his hand as he walks down the stairs to the car, and the like. Perhaps the most memorable for me was a simple moment in the middle of the week - we had arrived in Texas in the midst of one of the coldest fronts experienced by the Lone Star State in recent history. Temperatures didn't get out of the forties (and sometimes struggled to reach them) on Wednesday and Thursday. As we were preparing to watch the BCS Championship Game (Longhorns/Tide - which didn't turn out as my Texan husband hoped it would), my grandma was in the living room reading the paper. My grandpa went to their bedroom to retrieve something, and returned with her new bedroom slippers, a gift from her children at Christmas.
"I brought you your slippers, for when your feet get cold," he simply replied, handing her the shoes as he took his seat to watch the game.
"Well, thank you, dear, that's wonderful...for when my feet get cold," my grandma replied.
My husband and I exchanged glances and my eyes nearly teared up as we watched them interact. My grandfather was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease in late 2005 and has a limited range of motion due to his hips and knees being replaced several years ago. Often his fastest gait is nothing but a shuffle, and it takes him awhile to get from place to place. Yet, he had the foresight to make this simple act of love for my grandmother - just bringing her slippers to her, something that I doubt was a small act of exertion. It wasn't a grand, blissful, emotional declaration of his love for her - but it probably spoke more volumes about his affection for her than any bouquet of roses or messages in the sky could ever speak.
It was such a wonderful trip and B and I might not have the opportunity for this time alone with them in a long while. What began as "chaperoning" - as my grandma snarkily called it the night before we left - turned into some really beautiful time with them, learning more about them, and experiencing those small witnesses to their married love, which, in three weeks, will be 53 years in the making.
B and I are so blessed to have these wonderful examples of married love that we can learn from.
a presto.
In that week with them, we were able to learn more about them and, most importantly, experience their fierce devotion to one another. It's a devotion that isn't terribly overt - it's not romanticized and it's not overly affectionate, but it is a quiet, strong, fierce married love. They show it in the simplest ways - Gran helping Grandpa get his coat off, holding his hand as he walks down the stairs to the car, and the like. Perhaps the most memorable for me was a simple moment in the middle of the week - we had arrived in Texas in the midst of one of the coldest fronts experienced by the Lone Star State in recent history. Temperatures didn't get out of the forties (and sometimes struggled to reach them) on Wednesday and Thursday. As we were preparing to watch the BCS Championship Game (Longhorns/Tide - which didn't turn out as my Texan husband hoped it would), my grandma was in the living room reading the paper. My grandpa went to their bedroom to retrieve something, and returned with her new bedroom slippers, a gift from her children at Christmas.
"I brought you your slippers, for when your feet get cold," he simply replied, handing her the shoes as he took his seat to watch the game.
"Well, thank you, dear, that's wonderful...for when my feet get cold," my grandma replied.
My husband and I exchanged glances and my eyes nearly teared up as we watched them interact. My grandfather was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease in late 2005 and has a limited range of motion due to his hips and knees being replaced several years ago. Often his fastest gait is nothing but a shuffle, and it takes him awhile to get from place to place. Yet, he had the foresight to make this simple act of love for my grandmother - just bringing her slippers to her, something that I doubt was a small act of exertion. It wasn't a grand, blissful, emotional declaration of his love for her - but it probably spoke more volumes about his affection for her than any bouquet of roses or messages in the sky could ever speak.
It was such a wonderful trip and B and I might not have the opportunity for this time alone with them in a long while. What began as "chaperoning" - as my grandma snarkily called it the night before we left - turned into some really beautiful time with them, learning more about them, and experiencing those small witnesses to their married love, which, in three weeks, will be 53 years in the making.
B and I are so blessed to have these wonderful examples of married love that we can learn from.
a presto.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)