a full heart

It has been much too long since I've returned to this humble cyberhome to share my incessant thoughts and endless ramblings with whoever it may be that stumbles onto this tiny blog.  Quite frankly, our life has been fairly regular and ordinary in these past weeks - days and weeks go by, we have our ups and downs in the spiritual life, we have our little joys and our little struggles in our married vocation, and life continues.  I'll admit, the "ordinary-ness" of married life used to slightly scare me, but now, it really is a tremendous gift for which I remain abundantly grateful.  So, long story short, there hasn't been much to write about in these past weeks.  

Until today.  :-)  

We traveled this weekend, to the Kansas City metro area, about 500 miles southwest of where we live.  We piled into the car with two friends early on Friday morning and headed out shortly after eight; arriving in KC, KS (or at least a suburb of it) right around 5:00 in the afternoon, after a good eight hours of driving.  It was there, in the heart of the Great Plains, that we witnessed the ordination of a dear, dear friend to the sacred order of deacons.  

The ordination itself - held on Saturday morning in a local parish church - was nothing short of completely beautiful.  We arrived about an hour before the Mass to pray and prepare; yet, I found it impossible to pray coherently in that time, as the choir was rehearsing and it was entirely heavenly.  The choir eventually began to rehearse "Lift High the Cross" - one of my most favorite hymns - and the beauty of that moment, of what was about to happen to five men (four to be ordained priests, our friend to be ordained deacon), was all too much and tears stung my eyes.  All I could do was smile at B as I tried to choke down what almost became a sob.  The occasion of this ordination was truly providential -the four men ordained to the priesthood are the first priests of the male branch of a relatively new religious order; and our friend, ordained to the diaconate, would then be just a step away from joining his brothers in God's holy priesthood.  The process to ordain these men has been very long - many different steps needed to happen, all in God's time, in order for this blessed day to come.  As I wiped away my tears - the first of many that day - I think I realized the magnitude of the ceremony about to happen, and the gratitude owed to our good God for truly blessing this work done for His Kingdom.  

There really are no adequate words to describe what then transpired - an almost transcendent ordination Mass, where the joy felt among the faithful was palpable.  We smiled proudly as we watched our dear friend join his fellow brothers in the community, to make promises of obedience and respect to the ordaining bishop and to, more importantly, make eternal promises to God as His ordained ministers.  Next to the Liturgy of the Eucharist, the Rite of Ordination may have been the most beautiful part of the day - watching these five young men literally lay down their lives in service to God's holy people and make solemn promises to both Christ Jesus and a successor to Christ's apostles.  Another moment where the tears flowed freely was watching our friend - now a deacon - be welcomed by his fellow deacons into this sacred, beautiful order.  My heart was full of joy at that moment - a joy that could only be expressed by a shower of happy tears. 

Two hours and 45 minutes later, Mass concluded - really, it felt like just minutes had passed.  We attended a lovely luncheon and caught up with many old friends - sisters from the female branch of the order that we knew from our time in college, other college friends, even some priests from back home who had made the trip for the ordination.  A priest friend summed it up well - "It's a small world when it comes to our family in the Church."  Really, it couldn't have been said better.  While we didn't know many people at the ordination, by day's end we had gotten to know many more, and it was that much closer to feeling like a family.  

In the evening we attended a lovely dinner reception - not unlike a wedding celebration.  We ate delicious food, indulged in an open bar, and even took to the dance floor at one point and spun around to a merengue.  Many members of the order are from Italy (our friend included), so the reception offered me a truly precious moment to practice la bella lingua, which I haven't spoken consistently in what seems like years!  The most special moment of the evening was by far our little private moment with our friend when he was able to offer us his blessing.  In heavily accented Italian, he prayed with us and over us, and it was a great gift to us, so special, in fact, that I can't possibly attempt to describe how wonderful it was.  Following his blessing, we were able to share a few more words, where we again reiterated our great joy at his "yes" to God and humbly asked for his prayers for us.  And, before long, sadly, it was time to depart, and bid our goodbyes - as the gears in our heads began to crank along as we started to brainstorm ways of, God willing, getting to Rome for his presbyteral ordination (the likely location in about a year).  


The prevailing sentiments we took away from his weekend was a sense of great joy as we watched these five men resoundingly answer "yes" to God's call.  I shared with our friend how happy it made us to watch him say "yes" to God, and how beautiful it was to pray with him as he discovered his vocation and committed to it.  There is something uniquely special in witnessing a resounding "yes" to God's call to His holy priesthood, and I couldn't be more grateful for the opportunity to witness these fine young men make these solemn promises to God this weekend.  


We also remain sincerely grateful to God for our friendship with "Don Ale" (that's what we'll call him now) and his prayers for us.  He blessed us with his presence at our wedding almost two years ago, and it was an honor and a privilege to return the favor.  (And we only hope that it might be God's will that at least one, if not both, of us somehow make it to Rome to see him ordained a priest!)  God willing, he'll be the godfather to our firstborn daughter (or second-born son) someday.  We remain convinced that it is truly this friendship with God's chosen priests that will encourage and inspire us in our own pursuit of holiness for years to come. 


Thank you, Father God, for the gift of these priests (and deacon) to us!  May you bless and sustain them all the years of their faithful service to you.  


a presto.

too long

So many different topics to consider on this blog, but the past month has certainly gotten away from me.  How is it May 22nd tomorrow?!  

The Cliffs Notes version is that much is going on in our lives - very good, very exciting things.  Many new goals have sprung forth from these developments.  There's so much to document and to post here, but I don't even know where to begin.  

As far as short-term future blogging goals, I'm hoping to revive "New Meal Monday" this week with a new chili recipe.  Here's hoping I remember to get out my camera when the time comes to make the meal! 

In the meantime, here are 10 extra-short snippets of the goings-on in life right now:

1. I have a job!  Starting July 1st, I'll be diving back into campus ministry full-time after a two-year hiatus.  It is humbling, exhilarating, and exciting to think about being back on campus (my alma mater!) with students, attempting (albeit weakly) to love them like Jesus. 

2. My little sister is engaged!  She'll be married next October, 2012.  It is terribly exciting - and I get to be maid of honor!  (Or, as my husband informed me, matron of honor - it sounds so much older than just maid!)

3. B and I have resolved to begin (slowly) making our way through the seasons of The West Wing.  Considering we just watched the pilot episode this evening, I'd say we have quite a ways to go.  :-)

4. I bought a cilantro plant a week and a half ago, and while I haven't used any of it yet, I am so looking forward to being able to just snip the leaves I need in any given week, instead of buying an entire bunch of cilantro and having about 85% of that bunch go to waste because we just can't use that much cilantro before it spoils.  Hooray for herbs!  I have a small pot of basil and another of chives that have just started sprouting, too.  I am hoping to maintain this trend of keeping our most often used herbs in pots during the summer - it is convenient, low-maintenance, and inexpensive, a great thing! 

5. I am a convert to the FranklinCovey daily system of planning.  (www.franklincovey.com)  I sat in on meetings all week at my new job and after a quick introduction to the daily system, I have resolved to integrate that method of planning into my work next year.  I am hoping it can provide a balance to my work/vocation/homekeeping and increase my effectiveness in each of these areas. 

6.  I witnessed a beautiful Nuptial Mass today of two former students with whom I worked during my first stint in campus ministry.  They are a beautiful example of faithful love - I am honored to have known them during their college careers and to have watched from afar their journey to this momentous day. 

7.  "Sway" by Dean Martin might be one of the greatest songs ever.  I'm listening to the Glee cover of this song right now, and it just makes me want to get up and dance!  (Dean's version is best, however!) 

8.  B is making pulled pork for Sunday Dinner tomorrow!  EXCITED!!!!!!!  (pulled pork is one of my very favorite meals, and we've never made it before)  :-)

9.  Making plans to visit Washington, DC this summer to visit my old roommates at the end of June.  They have lived out there for 2+ years, but this is the first time I will visit them there.  I haven't been to the District in ten years, so I am more than looking forward to my return.  It promises to be quite the trip! 

10.  No matter how many times I fall, fail, or make a mistake, I am a beloved child of God.  All of us are.  How mind-boggling is this?! 

a presto. 

on death, judgment, and difficulties

I understand this is a massively depressing title for this post.  It's a work in progress - thanks for bearing with me.  

Last night was strange in a variety of ways.  Firstly, B and I were completely exhausted - Friday and Saturday nights were late nights (in bed no earlier than midnight) and we were certainly feeling the brunt of the ensuing exhaustion.  I was also coming down with something resembling a cold (dangit!) for the second time in three months - I am still on the couch and not 100% as of today.  We were supposed to attend a cookout, to meet the university students with whom I will work closely next year in my new position; however, after attending an evening Mass and not feeling any better (if not worse), we elected to go home, order a pizza, and rent a movie (which happened to be The King's Speech!).  

About three-quarters of the way through the movie (His Majesty King George VI and Lionel Logue were about to rehearse for the coronation in Westminster Abbey), I, without any particular reason, decided to log onto Facebook.  It was there on the social networking site that I saw a flurry of status updates about someone not often thought about in my mind these days.  These statuses were reporting a massively historical bit of news: 

The United States had eliminated Osama bin Laden.  

Immediately I relayed the news to B - who, understandably, was shocked.  After all, it isn't every day that the major news networks are reporting that the United States has eliminated the most wanted terrorist in the world.  We fumbled around with our remote controls (we have way too many!) and finally was able to reach a news station to see what exactly was going on.  The coverage confirmed the flurry of Facebook statuses - the United States had raided the world's most wanted terrorist's luxury compound in a city north of the Pakistani capital city, and in a firefight, the man wanted for orchestrating the 9/11 attacks had been killed.  

I didn't know what to think.  At first, deep down, there was almost an excitement to the news, similar to when the United States had captured Saddam Hussein many years ago, thoughts of "we finally got him" and "it's about time" that swirled in my mind.  Then, as we started to digest and process the news, calling our parents to make sure they had heard, I found myself trying to pray for the repose of his soul.  I remember a particular moment of solitude before the President's address to the nation where I finally realized that bin Laden, like all of us someday, came face-to-face with God, the Just Judge, and needed to answer for the doings of his life.  And in that moment, I feared for his soul and tried, albeit poorly, to ask God's mercy through a series of silent Hail Mary's.  

Let me tell you - it was difficult.  The memories of September 11th remain palpable to me - I recall watching the news footage of the anniversary of the attacks last fall and my heart still aching for those who perished in a fiery grave on that clear September day.  I remember sobbing into my mother's shoulder the night after the attacks, as the news coverage continued incessantly and as lower Manhattan continued to smolder.  I remember writing busily in my journal in the following days, and I know that in my fifteen-year-old immaturity, I had a few choice words for Osama bin Laden as I tried to process my thoughts.  So, last night, to attempt to pray and ask God's mercy on this man was a difficult task. 

And then I watched the ensuing celebrations around the United States - places like the White House, Ground Zero, and Times Square, where hundreds gathered to celebrate the death of this man.  And I know that my fifteen-year-old self from September of 2001 would have joined in the revelry and celebrated robustly what the media and politicians have dubbed "a decisive victory in the War on Terror."  To be honest, as I watched the celebrations ensue, my stomach was uneasy.  It is one thing to celebrate patriotism and be proud of our America, it is quite another to celebrate that patriotism in the wake of a man's death.  I agree wholeheartedly that Osama bin Laden has caused devastating agony to the citizens of the United States.  The actions of al-Qaeda and its influence on America will be written about for ages to come.  Yet, as Americans, we should not be treating this moment in history as if we won the big game.  Our lack of decorum in recognizing bin Laden's death was difficult for me to watch - and B and I agreed that the footage of the celebrations could ultimately be damaging for the United States in the wider Arab world community.  Indeed, this is a defining moment in American history - but to rejoice in this man's death is not, in my humble estimation, the way to go about these things.  

This is truly one of those moments where the teachings of our Lord are so very difficult.  Jesus knew what he was saying when he instructed the disciples (and us) to "love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you."  It is something that I - and the rest of the United States - very much need to take to heart.  

a presto

BEATO! BEATO!

Santo Padre, some days you are but a distant memory to me, yet deep in my heart I know how influential you were to my following Christ.  Your love for the youth of the Church inspired and encouraged me, and continues to do so.  I remain so very grateful to your yes to God in all things - your vocation, your episcopal appointment, your election to the papacy, and especially your yes to the corporal suffering you endured on earth, to show the world how to unite our pain to His on the cross.  Holy Father, you are my hero!  

My spiritual grandfather will be beatified in a few short hours by His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI!  I will attempt to watch a bit of the beatification coverage (beginning at 1:30AM our time, about an hour from now), but I am so exhausted that I am not sure I will make it very long.  In any event, I rejoice with the rest of the world and look forward to many celebrations in the days, weeks, and months to come to honor and remember the heroic life of Father Karol.  

"Remember, Christ is calling you; the Church needs you; the Pope believes in you and he expects great things of you!"  

Beato Giovanni Paolo, prega per noi!

Blessed John Paul, pray for us!  

a presto :)
picture source

UPDATE: Regrettably, I fell asleep with EWTN on before the coverage even began, rats!  Thankfully it is on tape-delay later today.  :)

bellssime nozze

Ok, I'll admit it - I woke up at 3:30 this morning (not on purpose), and proceeded to watch the Royal Wedding in all its entirety and fanfare.  (I had set my alarm for 4:45 so I could just catch the ceremony, but I slept fitfully and found myself wide awake at 3:30.)  Honestly, I was quite taken with all of the pomp and pageantry - the British certainly know how to celebrate and celebrate big!  I really only desired to see a few things - particularly how one conducts a Royal Wedding ceremony, and, quite honestly, I seriously couldn't wait any longer to see Kate's dress and how she did her hair.  (I am so envious of her hair, it's bordering on sinful.) 

While our wedding was certainly not a grand affair like William and Catherine's, there were so many small moments that I watched today where I thought back to our wedding day, and it was almost as if the feelings and butterflies of each particular moment came whooshing back into my memory.  For instance, Catherine and her father paused for only a moment before beginning their walk down the aisle to William.  My walk down the aisle with my father was somewhat similar, as I asked him just to straighten my train before we walked down the aisle (unlike Catherine, I didn't have the luxury of my sister behind me to do the straightening once it was time to walk!).  I remember so vividly that moment - Dad had just quoted one of my favorite lines from my favorite movie, Field of Dreams.  Then, he announced, "Let's go."  With that, I walked out from behind the partition, faced the doors to the church, Dad straightened my train, and we walked to B.  I honestly had about a million butterflies in my stomach at that very moment (I imagine the Duchess of Cambridge probably felt similarly at some point today), yet when we walked down the aisle, it was almost as if my peripheral vision blurred completely and the only person I could see was B, waiting for me.   Catherine's walk was undoubtedly longer (some have said it took nine minutes!), but the emotions and feelings of that walk down the aisle were, I'm certain, similar to the ones I felt but 20 month ago.  


In a word? The royal nuptials were gorgeous, and no doubt history in the making.  And while I am still tired from having woken up so early, it was certainly interesting and exciting to watch something so foreign to Americans - a monarchy - celebrate something so beautiful.  


 a presto.  :)

picture of William & Catherine source

Resurrexit sicut dixit, Alleluia!  

He has risen as He said, Alleluia!

A blessed, joyous Easter season to you! 

We adore you, O Christ, and we bless you.

Because by your Holy Cross, you have redeemed the world. 

Picture: The Crucifixion, Giotto
Arena Chapel, Padua, Italy

six years ago!

April 19, 2005 fell on a Tuesday, just as it does this year.  The conclave had begun on April 18, with black smoke after each of the votes.  I only had one class in the morning on Tuesday - a Religious Studies class with a emphasis on Judaism, Christianity and Islam.  We had a guest lecturer that morning who discussed different texts of the Torah (if I remember correctly).  A freshman in my second semester at the university, I took the class with two or three other friends from St. Paul's, the Catholic student center on campus.  

Probably about halfway through class, one of my friends received a text message from his brother: Habemus Papam!  White smoke!  Suddenly, none of us could concentrate and I was convinced that if we stayed any longer in class, we were going to miss the announcement from Rome, which was truly history in the making.  

Finally, on the count of three, we decided that we'd all get up and leave together.  As we walked out of class, my professor's mouth agape, we just about ran across campus to St. Paul's, where we arrived just as Cardinal Medina began the announcement from a streaming computer - ironically, where my office as an intern at St. Paul's would be just three and a half years later.  Once we heard the last name, I just about cheered as though my favorite team had scored a touchdown.  I had watched Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger preside and preach at John Paul's funeral Mass about ten days before, and his words had, without a doubt, comforted the Catholic faithful at a time of immense sorrow.  When I heard his name announced that day in Rome, I was nothing short of thrilled - in my humble estimation, Cardinal Ratzinger was the perfect successor to John Paul II - and truly perfect, as the Holy Spirit had truly chosen him to lead the Church.  

Happy Election Anniversary, Holy Father! 
Ad multos annos!

a presto :-)

New Meal Monday: Sausage with Peppers and Pasta

It has been my hope for awhile now to try at least one new recipe every week.  When I plan our meals for the following week (usually the previous Friday or Saturday), I try to use up what we might have in the pantry or fridge and integrate that into the meals as best I can.  Wasting food has been a particular point of issue for me - I absolutely despise throwing away large quantities of any food because it has gone to waste.  This was a huge issue for us last year, as we were learning to be married and to cook for two, but we have slowly but surely learned to use what we have at our disposal and be creative in order to avoid food going to waste!  No doubt it has been one of the most intriguing lessons we've learned in managing our finances since getting married.  

Enter this week's new meal: Sausage with Peppers and Pasta from the Kraft website.  We had about half a pound of kielbasa sausage just sitting in the fridge, waiting to be eaten (and likely to be tossed once it was too old to use).  We also had a few halves of red and green peppers to be used, so this recipe was perfect and allowed us to clear out a bit of our fridge.  The prep for this meal was exceedingly fast and super easy - and I'm happy to report that it has made our permanent dinner rotation because of its quickness!  

Without further ado, behold the finished product:  

Sausage with peppers and pasta
(Original recipe from Kraft foods, with a couple of additions by me)

What you'll need:

.5 pound of kielbasa sausage (or Italian sausage), cut into medallions
1 red pepper, coarsely chopped
1 green pepper, coarsely chopped

1 medium onion, coarsely chopped

2 cloves of garlic, minced
1.5 cups shredded mozzarella cheese
3 cups rigatoni pasta
1 14.5-oz can diced tomatoes
Crushed red pepper, Italian seasoning, and salt and pepper, to taste

1. Cook the pasta according to package directions; drain and set aside into a bowl or pot.  Drizzle with oil (I use grapeseed) to keep them from sticking. 
2. Cook the kielbasa in a large frying pan with a drizzle of oil until slightly browned.  Add the peppers, onion, and garlic and stir until slightly tender, about 5-6 minutes.  

3. Add the can of diced tomatoes and heat thoroughly, about 2 minutes. 
4. Add to the drained pasta; then add the mozzarella cheese and stir.  Season with crushed red pepper, salt, pepper, and Italian seasonings to taste. 

Enjoy!  It would be great with garlic bread, or a salad, or both. 

Yield: about 4-6 servings
Prep time: ~10 minutes
Total time: ~25-30 minutes
Estimated price per serving (4): $1.83

And thus starts a (hopeful) new trend for this blog: New Meal Monday! 
(I'll document new meals mostly for my own benefit, but hopefully for the benefit of some of those anonymous readers out there!)

a presto :)

tantissimi auguri!

Happy Birthday, Holy Father!

Here's a fun fact: Joseph Ratzinger was born on April 16, 1927, which was, in 1927, Holy Saturday.  He was born in the morning and taken to the local church in the evening, and baptized during the Easter Vigil! 

The picture above was taken in 2008, during the Holy Father's visit to the United States.  And, if it weren't the day before Palm Sunday this year, we'd also be indulging in cake, to celebrate and thank God for the life of Pope Benedict!  (Instead, I'll bake a cake during the first week of Easter and we'll enjoy some birthday cake in ten days.)  

Ad multos annos, Santo Padre! 
Picture source

Update: We just returned from a late-night frozen custard run to honor our beloved Pontiff's birthday (and if you asked my husband, to counter the extra spicy chili I made for dinner tonight).  Seeing as it's the day before Palm Sunday - major discipline fail.  

why do we live here again?

These pictures were taken Saturday, April 16, 2011, from our apartment window.  I am pretty sure the pictures speak for themselves - if you can't see it because of the picture's resolution, that's snow falling to the ground.  

And three days later, we had all kinds of precipitation fall from the sky, all of the winter variety: rain, sleet, hail, freezing rain, and probably a bit of snow thrown in there too.  

We had just returned from PR a week earlier than these pictures were taken, and I told B that if we told his Puerto Rican family what the weather was doing here, they would never have believed it.  What's all the more bizarre is that six days before these pictures, the previous Sunday, B and I got off the tarmac in Chicago, at 9:00 in the morning, to 70-degree temperatures.  If would eventually get to 85 degrees in our fair city that day.  

I don't ask myself this very much - more often than not I completely and utterly love the upper Midwest and our beautiful state.  But seriously, after Mother Nature's shenanigans in mid-April.......why do we live here?!  


a presto :)

Giovanni Paolo

In the midst of all of the joy surrounding my sister-in-law's wedding on April 2nd, there was but a brief moment where I was able to recall the events of the same day six years earlier, when, as an 18-year-old freshman in college, I kept vigil for 36 hours, waiting on word about my ailing spiritual grandfather, His Holiness John Paul II.  The time I spent on April 2, 2011 reflecting on the events of April 2, 2005 was but a sliver in the 24-hour day.  There was, after all, a most joyous occasion to celebrate that day - the marriage of B's sister!  

Yet in the back of my mind, I remembered John Paul, and the feelings and emotions and sentiments of that day six years ago.  I recall clearly the feeling of abandonment, that our grandfather had gone before us, and I remember vividly the palpable grief that followed his passing from this life into the next, which eventually changed to immense joy at the thought that he, John Paul would now, by the mercies and grace of God, spend eternity with the Lover of his soul.  It was a painful, grief-filled, yet joyous week between John Paul's passing and his funeral Mass.  

And in the midst of the grief and the sorrow that accompanied the passing of John Paul, God was there, truly present to Holy Mother Church.  While the faithful waited anxiously for a new shepherd to be elected, God knew exactly what His Church needed - and gave us a tremendous gift in the election of Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger to the papacy.  It is a gift for which we could never be adequately thankful.  

To say that I look forward to John Paul's imminent beatification is most likely an understatement.  For awhile, B and I joked about throwing a "beatification party," and if our finances weren't so tight, we would be considering it more seriously.  I could not ever thank John Paul enough for his influence on my young life - for assuring me of his love for and hope in the youth of the Church, for encouraging me in my own personal sufferings by his example, and by his countless prayers from Heaven since his passing.  To honor John Paul's memory in our own small way, should God grant us the gift of sons, our second boy will be named John Paul, and I trust that he will have a loving patron, his namesake, offering many prayers on his behalf.  

Holy Father, thank you for your witness of Christ's love to all of us, and for your yes to God's desire that you guide His holy Church.  Pray for us as we strive to follow your example!  

a presto
Picture source