"for my eyes have seen your salvation"

More than once in these past three weeks, I've flipped open to Luke 2:29-32, the profession of Simeon upon seeing His Lord presented in the temple. It's so simple and plain, but for some reason it just resounds in me. I saw that verse depicted in a "Christmas" skit last Advent - Simeon saw his Savior and proclaimed it, and there was this pretty schmaltzy music behind the monologue, but it was poignant. A lot of it probably has to do with that and my memory of the skit. Yet at the same time, it's just beautiful, regardless of the skit. 

 Luke 2:29-32.....and I especially love verse 30 (in bold): "Now, Master, you may let your servant go in peace, according to your word, for my eyes have seen your salvation, which you prepared in sight of all the peoples, a light for revelation to the Gentiles, and glory for your people Israel."  

I think of Simeon, waiting for ages for the Glory of Israel to be revealed, for the Messiah to enter into their midst, wrinkled and perhaps crippled from his old age. I wonder what the expression on his face was as he saw his Lord enter into the temple - just a babe, an innocent, precious infant cradled in the arms of his purest Mother. Was he shocked? Surprised? I can imagine him gaining momentum and rushing to Mary, perhaps startling her and Joseph with his sudden burst of energy as he rejoices joyfully at the sight of his Messiah. But I can also imagine him shuffling slowly to where Mary and Joseph stood, tears welling in his eyes, as the fulfillment of his life stares at him with the eyes of a baby. Can you imagine, cradling the Lord in your hands - Someone for whom you had waited for decades, and Someone for whom your nation had waited for centuries, perhaps millennia? It astounds me. Can you imagine what faith Simeon must have had, to proclaim so boldly in the temple, "Lord, for my eyes have seen your salvation"? The statement is so bold and so strong that it leaves very little room for any doubt in Simeon's words. 

Sometimes (actually, more often than not) it simply baffles me that our Lord took on human flesh and took our human appearance. He could have come so majestically, riding in on something splendid and gilded with gold, to rouse the awareness of all the nation. But it wasn't how He had planned it. Instead, He came meekly, as a baby, entering the world in the cold of a manger. And today, He comes to us just as humbly, as we adore His Presence in tabernacles throughout the world. Sometimes, it's just baffling. 

-EAP 

Feast of the Exaltation of the Holy Cross September 14, 2008

coming up to breathe on a 90-degree day

What a crazy ten days! It's hard to imagine the last time I updated was two Fridays ago. So much has happened since then, I don't even know where to begin. Last Monday, the 25th, was my first official day at St. Paul's. I walked to the student center that day, which sits at the pulse of the campus at the intersection between Library Mall and the beginnings of State Street, a wee bit nervous for this next adventure of life. Since that walk to campus that Monday morning, there has been a sea of frenzy amongst the staff, preparing for the upcoming year, coordinating "Welcome Week" events, and in the midst of all the busyness, we still find time to come to the chapel and kneel before Our Lord, the Reason behind all of our anticipation and preparation for these students. While my job this academic year is to be an "urban missionary" among these thousands of college students, I do not (and probably haven't ever) considered myself missionary material. I stumble for words in the midst of introductory conversations and I grasp for questions that, unfortunately, each new student has probably heard in their week of experience on campus. Before last week, the sheer thought of engaging people, even just people walking by the center on Library Mall, sent me into a quasi-panic. Much of me would rather just be the "liturgy girl" who hides in the sacristy and serves her Lord as she assists the priest in preparing for the Masses. But my Lord knows this of me, and He knows my struggle to step out of my comfort zone and engage with people. That's why He put me front and center at a Library Mall table last week, manning the booth alone, without anyone else, on Thursday morning. The hour I was alone at the table was brutally painful, but entirely humbling. And in the midst of my awkwardness and uncertainty, as I grew more accustomed to engaging with people, it was almost as if He were behind my shoulder, whispering, "See, I knew you could do it. All you had to do was tell yourself that you could do it." Don't get me wrong, I'm still awkward and it still feels like nails on a chalkboard during conversations with some of those particularly soft-spoken freshmen, but then there are moments like Thursday morning and He tells me that I can do it, despite my inadequacy and despite my fear. On my computer at my desk at the student center, I posted a huge picture of John Paul II on my desktop. Each time I close out of a program or minimize my program to my taskbar, there he is, stately and stoic. It's almost like I can hear him, my generation's spiritual father, booming to me and to the masses, "Do not be afraid!" It's that message, the message he conveyed to the youth throughout his papacy, that Christ also conveys to me in these first few days as a missionary. My order is tall and my plate has often been full this past week. I'm coordinating two retreats and the liturgies at St. Paul's and it's entirely rewarding but can also be very demanding on my "office time" at the student center. Yet each time I find myself on the brink of becoming overwhelmed, I seek His face and remind myself why I'm here. And then I remind myself that He knows what will transpire in these coming weeks and all He asks me for is my trust. It's that relationship, the trusting relationship, that He is seeking from me. So much has already happened and so much is yet to come! I'll write more when I'm not so overheated - temperatures soared into the low 90's today, an oppressive welcome to the first day of school for our students. I'm definitely ready for a glass of water, a fan, and a couch! Until next time....!